Dear Diary Jan13_Letting Love Flow

Dear Diary:

It is a frosty morning, the curtains are open, I am sitting in front of the window with my wonderfully warm cup of chai tea. It is a beautiful thing to see another sunrise, and waking up with no regrets. Because I am learning to allow things to flow, and live life as tomorrow may never come. Each sunset I make sure that I give thanks for a productive, and sometimes hectic day. When I rise the next day, I do the same thing...be grateful for another chance to recreate..redesign...my life.

It’s something about love, this unshakable emotion that has me engulfed with forgiveness and ceaseless passion. When I truly pay attention to it, the emotion grows my mind, and I become an even more sophisticated being. I’ve learned enough about it, that in order for love to remain,you must always find a reason to keep falling.

At times, when the darkness of anger comes upon me I have to let it run through me, for if I fight the darkness it’ll make things unfathomable. It took me some time to learn that about good and bad emotions. You must allow them both to flow through you in order to be balanced...and in order to truly understand yourself...you must know why and what fuels each part of you.

He’s upstairs sleeping...snoring like a Papa Bear. He put in good work, on the job and with me (haha). I slept so well, that when I woke up I still had a smile on my face (yes indeed). Sex first thing, on a cold morning is the best thing. I just got goosebumps, the aftereffect of our passion. He was so deep inside of me, that I know that I left a few scratch marks on his back. The deeper he went, my pussy kept releasing and squeezing on his dick. I was so sloppy wet, the noises that my pussy made, had him moaning so loud...his dick got even harder and my movements were like a sacred dance. My nipples are hard, as I type this. AND my pussy has begun to jump, she is contracting...wanting some more I assume. I won’t wake him, he needs his rest...I won’t pounce on him (this time).

Things have been very well with us, and he is in full agreement that we do need to pull away from the lifestyle. Ever since we had that discussion, I have been super hot and horny for him! He’s been very attentive to my needs lately, it feels like when we first met. We are back in the “honeymoon” phase. All of the resentment and other negative elements that were clouding our love life has diminished. The love has gotten sweeter.

Last week, I went in to pay the utilities, and each office I visited, the clerk said that the account had no balance owed. Wow! He paid all of the bills off, and the mortgage is a month ahead. All I could do was look to the sky, and say “thank you”. Then I picked up the phone to call him to say the same thing. See, it was not too long ago that he wouldn’t bother to pay until I mentioned it. Or I would neglect paying the bills being too busy pissed about something or busy with my “outside dealings” to care about what went on in my own household. Yes, we were both a hot ass mess.

This period of us feels good, I’ve taken the password off my phone and he no longer takes calls outside in his car. There are no worries of “outsiders” interrupting our good harmony.

Last week, I visited the precinct and I saw one of his former interoffice flings. She had the audacity to give me the eye. I pretended as if I didn’t see her. I was so unmoved by her presence. Nonetheless, before I left him we exchanged our usual kiss but I put a little bit more umph into it. I slipped him some tongue, and “discreetly” brushed my hand against his crotch. I noticed she was watching out of the corner of her eye, so I gave her something to see...us exchanging some soap opera style lip service.  Oh she was bothered. I overheard her say to another officer “did they put out that PDA, I mean APB out for that missing elderly guy”. I am sure she was being sarcastic, but once again...I was not moved by her. It is funny how traditional women react, to an unconventional woman who has been generous with her love. Yes, she is ungrateful. She got to experience love with him.  I am sure she is one of many who are upset that he didn’t abandon the lifestyle to be solely with them. Sorry ladies.

What the women do not know, it is an arousal, for me to have a mate who is highly sought after. My pussy is wet thinking about him at work, possibly exchanging a glance with a curious co-worker. Yes, I heard rumors about my guys“rep” around the office...both good&bad things are said about him (so I am told)...but it never stops the subordinates from throwing themselves at him. I’m so glad that he’s learning from mistakes. He is finally taking his position of authority serious. He had some hard lessons to learn, he now knows that office pussy will keep drama in your life.

I must run now, he’s at the top of the stairs asking me to bring him up some breakfast. I gotta stop anyway, I have to get ready to leave. 
I’m heading to Belize for work related business. I leave on Friday. I have this magic number in my head, of how many orgasms I must get before then too. (((Smiling))) We can start with position “69”. I want to suck his soul dry before I take this 4 hour flight on Friday.

Kisses to you,

~Dream~©2016 Thick Dream Productions/Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~

Dear Diary He Has Me Hot Tonight NOT In A Good Way

Dear Diary:

I have locked myself in the bathroom, and I grabbed you only because I fear what I may do to this man. I have no one else to talk to, and no one would really care to hear about this continued saga bullshit.

I had a little something to drink and I popped a pill earlier to calm my nerves. It seems to be counteracting with each other. I am almost in a panic state and I feel like I want to totally kick this mans ass!

After he pissed me off today, I damn near ran his fucking ass over with my Mercedes. He thought that I was playing with him, I am not sure why because we have been dealing with each other for the longest, so to assume that I was not serious was just utterly foolish...and it almost cost him his sorry ass life.

I know that I am composing this in an altered and angry state, but fuck-some of this has to be released before I really hurt him. I am so sick of his passive ways, and the narcissism is never cute nor sexy.

I am going to just type in short random blurbs about my feelings, I really do not have the mindset to go into what in the hell he did to get me so shittin’ ass hot.

There are times….

I want to bend him over (like a hoe ass bitch) and grab a fucking dildo and ram it ALL up inside of his ass so deeply...without any lubrication…

I feel there are also times where I want to grab that woman (any one of the one’s he’s fucked or is presently fucking) hold her by her hair and force her to suck his funky cum and others cum out of my pussy….bet he’d like that...she’s probably a nasty bitch like the mongrel he is...BOTH of them would be my hoe ass bitches…

And now that I am in vent mode….I must admit that I really could careless that he makes 6 figures, he can take that six figure income and go fuck himself….his precious money….the more he spends on me, it increases his idea that I am his property…to hell with him and his charismatic ways...at times I get treated like a pocket change trophy...his sweat socks and work uniform get better treatment than I do at times….

Fuck him...and all of the kids that he has or could have….and smart or silly me for not wanting a family with him...he is an ungrateful friend and an even awful lover….I am certain he would SUCK ASS as a father to our kid anyway…

Tonight HE will NOT be getting any pussy this way...silly son of a bitch….and I do not care if he leaves out to get it elsewhere….he would not want this pussy tonight anyway...I would so fake the sex tonight….he is NOT fucking worthy to even say the word cunt or pussy in my presence...he can’t even smell my pussy tonight….I would rather fuck a paraplegic...this one here will NOT get my loving tonight….

I just do not get him, it is so hard for him to be honest with me….why must he always lie about things...or excuse me...state promises that he cannot fulfill (same fucking thing,but he lives for the word play)...

What is it really? Is it the military or the law enforcement career, who is out here training our men to be such motherfuckers??!! I need to seriously find out because the fuckery must stop...stop the madness….training our men with these “defense mechanisms” instead of showing them ways to live in the truth….show them how to cope with life,not just being a servant to this God foresaken country....be a fucking man and be honest for a damned change….this must happen before the world ends….too much bullshit being done,to maintain what...so called "integrity" or to combat INSANITY...too many hearts I am sure have been broken and I know lives have been taken because of it...fucker

Okay,I feel like I have calmed down some now...because before composing this, I really wanted to bring death to that guy…..by my own hands...shit I almost laughed at that dramatic statement and the things I said in anger….hmmmm….wow…..he brought the darkness out in me tonight for real! Well,at least I am not screaming at the top of my lungs and crying like a baby anymore.

Two things I will be doing soon-one investing in a chastity device for his penis and he can only be freed if he adhere to the new “rules” of our relationship. Two-tonight I’m going to give him a sample of that by handcuffing him to the bed for a couple hours. I still do not plan on having sex with him, however,he will think that we’ll be having makeup sex once I leave out the bathroom and we discuss things. I’m going to pretend to listen to his every word, but I’ll have another agenda….I am going to fix his ass really good.

IF he is late for work,maybe this lesson will teach him not to fuck with my feelings again.
I must go, he is banging on the bathroom door, one minute he is using a strong voice and the next he is speaking nicely...a common officer tactic of his (I see through his bitchassness each time).
Until next time,
~Dream~©2015 Thick Dream Productions/Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~

Dear Diary I am back November 14 2015

Dear Diary:

I know, I know it has been a very long time since I sat down and open you up. I have been dealing with life, and not having too many moments to just sit down in front of you. When I do have a moment to myself, there is no electronics in hand and no sharing allowed. The only exchange is the communing between me and the Creator. Yes, I have increased, incorporated new things in my life, to provide balance.

Sarge and I are STILL in a very odd place right now. We communicate often, but our sex life is almost at a stand still. He has been dealing with a new job position, so more wages mean more duties, and of course less time to spend with me. We did attempt to attend counseling sessions together with a non traditional counselor. In our last session, Sarge disclosed that he was suffering from PTSD, and it messes with his sex drive and memory. “Well damn,I was right”I thought to myself as I sat next to him, holding his hand...pretending to be in disbelief. But hell, I knew it all along. The signs have always been there, all that was left was for him to say it out of his mouth. I knew that it was his pride, and fear of rejection that kept him from sharing this with me.

The counselor really did not help, he commended me for understanding what Sarge goes through and he made some suggestions to Sarge about rejuvenating our bedroom passion. Sarge agreed that he would try each one, and vowed to make allocated nights “all about Dream”. Well, he lied….his promise expired when he received his promotion. That is when the workload increased and his libido became extinct.

The last time Sarge and I made love, he did not reach orgasm. Due to his dick unwilling to achieve a full erection. I wanted to blame the fact that he became startled at a flash, he thought he saw in the closet. He jumped out of my pussy,to dash into the closet...because he thought he saw someone in there. “So, you thought someone was in the closet, and holding a camera too”-I said. I was puzzled. Did Sarge think I had paparazzi...what the fuck. Sarge tore up the closet, only to find a beaded body chain. His face was bright red, his forehead glowed from cold sweat. The look on my face was priceless. I am 1000%, it spoke volumes. I am positive my face said “this fucker is crazy as a loon”. However, my reaction did not match my facial expression. After he washed the sweat from his pale fear stricken face, I reached out to him. My lips pouting,head titled to the side,and my arms open for him to come receive my consoling affection.  Holding him felt as if I were comforting a child I had given birth to. At that moment,I did not judge him, and no thoughts crossed my mind to abandon the relationship. It was actually arousing, to hold this powerful man in my embrace. I could not help myself, after what 30 minutes of cuddling Sarge….my “Motherly” instincts were put aside. The horny woman in me, wanted his meaty dick! I did everything in my sexy repertoire, to get his cock revved up….nothing happened. I mean...his dick would rise then fall, it wouldn’t stay hard for shit! Now, the “understanding” woman that I am...I blamed it on the food we ate prior to sex and I kept reassuring him that it was “okay” that we couldn’t complete our lovemaking. It did not matter what I said to Sarge, he did not like that his dick was not cooperating with him. After going back and forth about it, I had enough of the debate. He did not believe me, when I confessed that I came 6 times prior to him leaping toward the closet. I got out of the bed, to head downstairs for a glass of water. On my way downstairs, I almost tripped over his work boots and pants. Out of frustration,I moved the boots, and threw his slacks at him. As the pants hurled in the air, his change and a prescription bottle fell out the pockets. Boyyyy….I tell you…..you should have seen how quick Sarge ass moved butt naked from under those covers...and he was supposed to be asleep,hahaha!! He scurried to retrieve the contents of his pockets before they hit the floor. He tried his hardest to grab the prescription bottle before my hands picked it up. The bottle landed near me, so I bent to give it to him. He froze in his tracks. I read the label, and the medicine is for high blood pressure. I asked him”when did you start taking medicine for hypertension”. He bowed his head and replied “I’ve been taking it for a year now, but I was off it when I first met you”. My mind started thinking a 100 miles per hour...my next question “so THIS is the real cause of your libido problems...ya think”. “I mean it could be very well, a slight reason for the challenges Honey”he said.  

Man, DAMN...I was too pissed that day with Sarge. All this time, and all this shit he has going on healthwise….I could not help but think a part of the distance occurring was about ME not being loving enough...but sweet Mary,Martha,Joseph and Jacob….the man has a CHRISTMAS list of contributing factors why his dick is not performing at full mass and occasionally pulling a NO SHOW. From the garbage food cops tend to consume to the job stress to the PTSD, the depression and NOW the medicine...no fucking wonder his dick is on DOA...limp noodle status.

Over and over, I’ve tried to understand Sarge and plug into the passion we have as friends and lovers….right now, I can’t do it. It is too many reasons to list, why a break is needed from him and I. It is simply too much work on my part to do, and right now….mentally...I do not have the patience to do it. Why? When HE has allowed his little boy shame and insecurities take president over his masculine dynamite King energy. He makes numerous excuses why he can’t make it to dinner or when he does come around...he’s coming to use me as his emotional dumping ground.  

UUUGHHH!! Let me change the subject, just writing about that Sarge, is bringing up too many draining emotions. I’ll come back to him...let me discuss “Mista”man/Honey Bunny.

Mista and I were done, the last I wrote. Wellll…..it was almost a year since I had any contact physically with him....guess who showed up with an invitation to our favorite restaurant and guess who (like a dummy) said yes? Yup….that guy...and yes my silly self did say yes that I would meet him.

On the night, I was scheduled to meet Mista I was 30 minutes late arriving to dinner. I just knew that when I got there, he would have left to only curse me out, and say that he is blocking my number. Shit, that was what I was hoping that would happen anyway...haha! When I got there, parking wasn’t available, so I had to utilize the restaurant valet service (what he suggested that I do because he knows how much I hate walking in my 5 inch heels). The parking attendant opened my door, and another guy named “Marcus” came to my aid. Marcus (the Maitre d’) grabbed my hand to help me get out of my car, and handed me a dozen roses that were hidden behind his back. “Wow, these are beautiful...thank you Marcus, who are these from”I asked. “Madame, these are from a gentleman awaiting your presence”. I smiled and the swing in my hips increased as we reached the table where Mista stood, taking in the view of me.

When I got to the table, I wanted to hug him...no...I am lying. I wanted to rip his fucking clothes off, and fuck him right there in the middle of the restaurant. But instead, I did nothing.  I observed him and kept the conversational exchange to a minimum. From the moment, he pushed in my chair...the shenanigans began. He stood behind my chair to pull aside my hair, and applied a soft warm kiss,to the left side of my neck. My eye’s fluttered and rolled toward the back of head. My right hand caressed his caramel colored bald scalp. That sweet kiss, turned into him sucking, licking and biting into my neckline….it happened so quickly, but it seemed like hours that he was attached to my neck. When he finally sat his ass down in front of me, I knew immediately how the night would end.

During dinner, I picked at the salmon and asparagus I ordered. He finished almost all of his filet mignon, but when he was about to take his last bite...he put down his fork. “Sweetheart, so please update me and tell me what has been up with you….did I tell you that you look INCREDIBLE”he inquired. “Yes, you did tell me that quite a few times tonight already”I replied. He knew that it is not like me to remain so silent, regardless if we are no longer together we managed to salvage a little bit of a friendship. “So,lighten up baby and tell Daddy what you been up to”he said,in a sweet yet demanding voice. “Work and my fitness, nothing major” I said. I wanted to keep my answers short, to the point, so they will not lead to a further..a deeper inquisition.  His response was “okay, I see...you want to play coy with Daddy tonight...it’s all good Sweetie, I know you did not forget...that I know YOU Dream...even when you do not SPEAK...I KNOW what you are thinking”.  Oh really, this motherfucking sex crazed psycho thinks he’s Mista Cleo, my psychic friend now...wow, I thought to myself. And it's not like I had forgotten that I shared almost a decade of my life, with this man. Who happens to be thoroughly trained in law enforcement interrogation...so he knows how to get the answers he seeks without trying.  Soooo, what did I do? I gave him what he needed, a conversation...it was a dry one, but hey it was the least I could do. We talked about my family, the candidates who are running for President and my drastic weight loss...a conversation that should have stopped at the amount that I lost. Now mind you...we did not discuss “his new family” or “his updates” all topics were about MY LIFE. “Tell me Baby, how much weight are you down now” he asked. “Almost 100 pounds” I answered enthusiastically. I think he picked up on how my body language perked up when I spoke on my weight loss. Because my chattiness woke me up and the way he smiled while sipping his glass of Grand Marnier. His sips were long, the grins were devilish and I know he had an erection.

When he finally finished the 2 ounces of liquor he had left, he invited me back to his suite at the Loews Hotel. “Are you joining me for the rest of my evening”is how he asked me. I said “no thank you”at first, but when he grabbed me and forced his tongue down my throat while firmly massaging the rear lower portion of my neck. I felt so much life, yet lifeless in his arms...I was weak. I nodded my head “yes” repeatedly when Daddy asked me again “are you going to follow me back to my room”he slapped my ass and hard after question. “Are you happy to see me”(he smacks my ass)...”do you miss me”he asked and proceeded to slap my butt again.

This man...I mean Daddy...has become very fucking bold. We were outside of the restaurant waiting in the valet area, and patrons were onlooking as he chastised me, in this strange yet sexy manner. One guest had the nerve to yelled out “hey guy, I don’t think you hitting that ass heavy enough”. What in the world, that only encouraged him more. Mista who was slightly tipsy, walks over to the agreeing guest to receive a high five. All I could do was bury my face and shake my hands...this man is a trip!

He was shirtless and wearing basketball shorts when I got to the hotel, I had to stop by the store for some toiletries and a green tea (since I knew that I was going to wind up staying the entire night and I wasn’t sure when I’d make the 45 minute drive back to the suburbs). I was bullshitting at the store, just buying me time...I wanted to think long and hard with myself...was I ready to take on this venture with Mista (again).

At the hotel, there is barely any talking. From the time we met by the elevator until we actually reached the room our hands never left each other bodies. When he opened the room door,he had my bra in hand along with the items I purchased. He placed my things down, and pinned me against the wall. “You know what Daddy has ALWAYS told YOU, that you are mine until we both leave this Earth right? YOU know that I AM right”his voice deepened and seemed more darker (he is in his “Dominant” Dark Vader mode). “Why have you been so distant with Daddy...and why have you been giving away Daddy’s sweet pussy to that chump Sarge”he asked. “Don’t you know that you NEED this big dick right here and ONLY DADDY can give it to YOU just how YOU like”he explained. He then took me to sit on his lap, and he held me as if I was his personal doll. He stroked my hair, inhaled my perfume, and lastly he lifts up my dress to fondle my hard gumdrop nipples.

We are both in this office chair, he is grinding on me and I am holding the arms of the chair wearing only my Giuseppe heels. The lyrics to D’Angelo “How Does It Feel” is playing in my head. My head is swinging right to left, and my body begins to wind back. It was as if we were dancing. Daddy is seated, with a lap full of my ass, he starts to wipe his precum between the crack of my butt cheeks.

He allowed me to remain seated as he danced for me, his sexy body was all I saw in that room. He was moving like an exotic male dancer. The looks that we both exchanged were as if we never met, however, they are ever so sultry that it elicited mutual submission. Daddy slowly stroked his long hard dick for me, he used his control to stop his ejaculation. He came just enough to moisten my lips with the cum. The rest he said “I’m saving the rest of this nutt for my pussy”. The fight in my mind, that I had earlier at the store, was over. I am fully taken in by him.

We fucked and fucked until the sun came up. We went through two sets of linen. The first set, he fucked me so hard that I squirted and peed when I climaxed. The second linens were soaked with a combination of our sweat and cum. I don’t know what was in the food we ate and the drinks he had, but it made both of us sexually intoxicated. I told him it was the fact that I lost so much weight, my pussy shrunk which caused it to be tighter, and the drop in weight caused my sex drive to increase terribly higher. He said “no, we always had high sex drives babe...the weight loss played a small role in it, but our passion is undeniably strong”. He FUCK...was was right “Daddy you know what, you’re right” I had to agree.

I didn’t forget how he has that dick and mind control. The way he is able to stop himself from coming, is the most wondrous thing to witness. Also, I didn’t forget how he meticulously chooses his clothes and his cologne when he’s trying to swoon me. His efforts are like my own when I’m making an impression.

We (I) want you to recall each event of the time spent in (my) our presence, so when you're alone in your thoughts...there is an increased possibility that maybe you’ll be thinking of me.

And that is exactly, what I am doing...I am in the middle of a business brunch with a few colleagues, and I am thinking of Him. I swear the waiter is driving me crazy, not with the service he’s providing...but the Yves Saint Laurent scent has on...Daddy wears it. My legs are closed, but between them holds my pussy that’s dripping wet.

My phone had to be put on silent. I had it on vibrate but he kept sending me text messages “I still love you”....”how are you feeling today Sweetheart”...”when can I see you again”. When I did not reply, it resulted in him sending a video (with a delivery confirmation attached, so he knew I watched it). The video message was him in a suit, camera facing up at him...as he unzipped his pants to tease me with his massive veiny erect penis.

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve spoken to him after our “I miss you sex”/fuck-fest. I refuse to “go there” with him again, not right now. I’ve got a lot of good things going on in my life without him.  One is a million dollar contract on the table and the other is a new love in my life. The jury is still out on the new man, but he does “it” for me.

I must run now, it is my turn to lead the meeting discussion. I got to focus. Time to put my attention elsewhere. Bye for now Diary-I promise to try to compose more often.

Kisses,

~Dream~

Dear Diary-A Dream of A Dream Sept22

Dear Diary:


I woke up well rested after sleeping like a rock. My eyes are swollen like a Henson muppet from my face being plastered onto my mattress. 
While I am boiling my water for my morning hot liquid fix, thought I might as well crack you open and release some words onto this page. 
Hell, I am just recuperating from a nice and fun weekend spent with friends. It started off kinda wild, but had a fairly good ending. 
Early Saturday morning I kept having this recurring dream, I would get up and go pee, and the dream would start right where I left. That rarely happens to me. 
In the dream, I was in my newly purchased home sexing in front of the refrigerator. The kitchen was dark,the light from the inside of the frig was the only light in the entire room. We were going at it hard, pulling out items from the frig, and smashing them on our bodies during this freaky fuck session. 
Then the dream flashes forward, he and I are driving in the country. We are nestled under the steering wheel, on the open country road. The looks that we give each other, are long and deep. The kisses we exchange are full of definition. We wind up at the county fair, we were happy like children with a major crush, holding hand in hand. I almost felt the need to skip like a school gal filled with glee, but this super machismo man made me keep my composure. So, I walked gracefully, like a Nubian Princess ready to be betrothed. We did not want the day to end. 
As we leave the fair, we stopped to enjoy the fall scenery. We paid close attention to the couples, families, and single people moving about like insects. He and I get a kick out of studying people, a freaky fascination. We stayed until the last person left the fair. 
We start to kiss and touch, he had me pierced against the tailgate of his truck. He stood behind me, biting on my neck. One hand he had around my waist, the other hand was around my neck firmly but slowly pulling my hair. I had to hold on tight to the rear of the truck, I wanted to collapse to the ground from pleasure. Instead, I stood strong and took what he was giving me. 
Although, my over 62 inch ass is a task for most to enter me from behind while standing, he entered me flawlessly. His dick was like cast iron, his length went well beyond his navel, this also made insertion easy. Coitus was slow and deep, each stroke felt like a slow motion punch, but never missing the mark. His dick tickled my cervix, making me bend over slightly, but only to have him bend me upright and fuck me even deeper. 
At this point, my pillow is wet from the dream and my pussy is throbbing, moist from nocturnal emissions. 
We were almost at climax when I noticed that we were being watched by the caretaker of the fairgrounds. He and I did not speak, although we were startled we did not gasp. We paused to see the reaction of the caretaker. He gave us this look, and a nod to keep going. The caretaker wanted to see us finish our sensual vernissage. And we did just that, gave him the best exhibition he ever saw. The sex was more exciting being watched by this stranger, and a lot more aggressive. I would say an occasional "fuck yeah" and all he kept saying"hell yeah,this is exactly how Daddy wants it,give it to me baby,give it all to me". 
I was waiting for the caretaker to whip his dick out and start jerking it, but he just stood there with a smirk on his face. No erection peeping through his trousers, he had to be impotent. Because the fucking we did would make most homo sapiens and extraterrestrials horny. As we were about to cum, the caretaker came closer, we did not stop, we kept going at it. My lover, explodes his hot cum into my pussy, allowing it to run down my thick juicy thighs. He steps back to watch it trickle downward, and the caretaker comes toward me, kneels down and licks me from behind. My honey, is equally awed, he plants the most juicy, all tongue kiss, in my mouth. The caretaker is still licking our hot cum from behind, he goes up higher to my ass and sticks his tongue in there. We are so aroused by this, and could not stop kissing. He allows the caretaker to fuck my ass with his tongue. I cum multiple times from the over stimulation, my thighs are shaking, but the caretaker firmly holds my thighs still while he damned near sucks the shit out my asshole. 
I could not take anymore, so i held out my hand, reaching for the caretaker's dick. He gave it to me, I stroked his dick while kissing my lover. The caretaker finger was in my butt, and my honey fingers were in my pussy. 
I had to make myself wake up from this wild ass dream, it was killing me how horny I was. And slightly pissed awaking to nothing but my pink teddy bear, and not one man laying next me. 
Half sleep I start to text my dream, I told him as much detail as I could before breaking down to call. He picked up, voice deeper than usual,so I know I interrupted his sleep. He did not mind, nor did I apologize. He loves to hear my stories. 
I wind up dashing out the house, showered and hair combed within 30 minutes, I am at his house and ringing his door bell. We sit to watch TV,and he was talking about his work week. I told him,"i don't mean to be rude,but can we speed this up,can I push fast forward please". He agreed, and knew what was up. I reached in my pocket, threw down a handful of non latex condoms and lube on his end table. We rapidly undressed. I watched him masturbate for a couple minutes before placing the condom on his light brown speckled dick. He looked like a helpless child, his hands held out in the crucifixion position. I crouched into his lap,we both looked down, as I put his penis inside of my pussy. Oh my,my,my pussy was so tight,juices flowing milky white, the feeling when he broke the seal was indescribable. I rode him like a fucking champion, my left leg bent out to the side,the right leg bent underneath him. Bouncing on that dick like a trampoline. Tits swinging, and my smile bright as a jubilee. I popped my ass up and down on that dick, like I was performing. He thought he was dreaming, hell, I could not believe the energy I had. I felt ecstatic, unfucking stoppable. 
He pulled me back to ask,"Dream,why are we fucking like this,after all the things that were said and its been so damned long". I said,"i had to revoke your pussy passport,to prove a point,teach you how not to fuck me over again,and why ask why,you know this has always been my dick,now do not EVER give my shit away again,and SHUT UP and let me continue to fuck the SHIT out of YOU!". And that he did,he did not murmur a word til he had an orgasm "oh DREAM,AHHAAAA,Dream,this pussy is so FUCKING good,OOHHWEE Dream,uuughh". I climbed off his dick slowly, I did not orgasm with him, no need I had my fulfillment mentally, way better than any orgasm. 
As I dressed, he asked"are u coming back to fuck me later on, can I give you a key to my place,will you come back". My ego is fed, why would I need to come back, i thought to myself. I replied,"sure,i will come back later". Of course you know, I fed the beast one last time before cutting him off again. 
Well, my caffeine fix has kicked in and I am slowly but surely coming down,til my next freaky composition.
~Dream~

Dear Diary Sept12,Let the Randomness Begin

Dear Diary:


I have been up since 4am, woke up from this totally weird dream. Had to do with money and a man, I tell you those are always on mind. For some odd reason, I just cannot shake the thoughts of this one individual, as much as I want to, and probably need to. I cannot stop thinking about them. 
I probably dreamed of money because I could always use some extra,lol, like the person on my mind. I could use a little bit more of them. 
I fell asleep after watching an HBO porn documentary, I learned a lot by hearing the views of the industry from seasoned entertainers. I agreed with Heather Hunter when she said it was so much easier dealing with people in the industry, and she is right...its harder dealing with people in the "real world". 
I am sure she has had the same struggles I deal with in my personal life. You can conjur up any kind of man...from his height to the size of his penis, but more than likely he is a fan or despise what you do and tries to change you. 
People have no clue how difficult it is to try to have a somewhat normal sex life after doing any kind of  porn, whether its at home amateur porn or mainstream, the results are pretty much the same. 
Men think that I have so much sex, and that I am this sex kitten. LOL, I mean I do love sex and it can be slightly addictive;however, I am selective with whom I play with personally. To be honest, I usually do not have sex no more than twice per month. Sometimes, it can be less if I am holding out based on principle, I am so big on that its not funny.   
What's crazy the men I have dealt with personally are more kinkier than myself...lol. A couple have totally got me twisted, suggested things from threesomes to introducing them into the industry also,making our debut into mainstream. IF, I was to have a 3 some with my man/boyfriend/partner/lover it would not be with a girlfriend of mine, it would be with a neutral party or hell, one of his buds. I would never share my man with a girlfriend of mine, sorry guy. Even though I have shared portions of my sex life, I do believe some things are sacred, and that is my primary meat or man.
Which is why I often try to protect him or I try to be as open as I can with what I "do"with my mate. Because its so many myths about women who entertain, I want my partner to be at ease with my chosen path. Often I work too hard at being trusted, when in reality its the other person who should be working on gaining my trust. My past and present is on display, so I am not the random person. 
I know its enticing to see a confident women who is curvy and provocative do her thing. Men love it, and yes, we eat up the attention. BUT,its a blessing and a curse. I am a big girl, who can handle the men coming at me in every direction. I confess, I have indulged in a groupie or a few. I have always kept it real with whomever I am seeing, and yet still they cannot be real with me. Why is that??
Over the weekend I listened to my homegirls and their grief with men and horror stories,shit theirs are almost the same as mine, but they are not in the industry. So, tell me what is really going on??
What is with these men, expecting you to bend over backwards and put your pointer finger on your nose. That is too much. I understand the ratio is high, there are a lot of  women out here to chose from and to play with. I get that, but most do not want the freaky chick as their primary woman. Nope, most want that woman who is not as sexually experienced or if she is, its from the things you and her have done. These men still wind up having that dip on the side. Because they are not pleased entirely, they need to be filled completely or just fucking greedy. That is why porn is not going anywhere, nor the strip clubs or the entire sex business as a whole. We are sexual beings, and in this society we cannot express ourselves freely without some kind of ridicule. (If a man had it his way,he would choose the woman he can take to worship and to the strip club.)  Hate to say, but this is one of the reasons why people are unfaithful...just my opinion. 
And its so cool be sexually expressive in my book, but practice safe sex...and keep it real with whom you are sharing your body with on a regular basis. From the beginning coming into the situation get tested, show your results,this is not pillow talk after the condom has broken or you got caught up in the pussy and took the condom off. Yes, its hard to believe that men still take off the rubber with HIV and antibiotic resistant STD's on a major rise. 
We as adults must respect sex, from the women and men who chose to do this for a living to those who live an alternative lifestyle. Respect must be there, give it as much as you want it.
LMFAO,at the guy who I made a date night with and canceled because he asked me on the ride over was I going to suck his dick. I do not know why he asked prior to the act, but that was a big mistake. I said yes until he mentioned that he was not going to return the favor. I told him,lol,how are you going to ask me that and not expect to have that required of you. I explained that I am fully tested recently, and offered to show him the results...I was real,yet joking because when he said he was not eating my pussy, there was no way I was fucking him, so what with a condom and so what if i did not suck his dick...i am on principle at this point,ok. Yes ok, I am a Fellatrix sexpert, and I LOVE to give headservice, you HAVE to at least attempt to lick the pussy before I go down on you....so tired of the one-sidedness. Fellas, you can't expect the head if they are not willing to give it to her,that is very fair. I do not care if he only eats my pussy once a week, I will suck the rim off his penis if he at least does it period. 
Anyway, getting off my soapbox....my present partner/lover has no clue how I truly feel about him, because he is caught up in the fascination stage, when the reality stage has kicked in, he may be able to see who I am and my real thoughts of him. Trust me, its not what he thinks,and honestly I do not think he really wants to know. Scary thing, he and I are so much alike its sickening.  The side he wants to embrace, behind close doors, is the one I am living aloud and often try to escape it. The lover in me wants to share so much, and the friend in me wants to lay the shit on him, read him his rights..left to right. My persona wants to show his ass how its really supposed to be done, and make him lick my stiletto's to show his appreciation. 
Well, I am off to start a hellafied week, its been enlightening to divulge, kinda like a bowel movement at 6 am. 
Kisses to you,
~Dream~