As I stand on top of this planet
This Dream universe
I inhale the emissions
From the exosphere
I cough, become light headed
I almost choke, on the debris
With my watery eyes set
The horizon appears hazy
As I glaze out into the vast opening
I feel something is missing
There's something in the darkness that I seek
Is it God
I don't think, He's the only one who hears me speak
Or is it Cupid
I do not know, He and I our relationship lately hasn't been consistent
Could it be the fond memories of what real love feels like
From friends and family?
What is in this massive abyss that's calling upon me?
I am drawn to it
Maybe it's death
Disguised as a comforting place
I don't know what it is
I must resist the pseudo sense of happiness
That its eliciting
I can't help but listen to it
The voice is calming
Almost as consoling as Mother's warm embrace into her bosom
Just as relaxing, when he climaxes,dick pulsating,inside of me, from a very powerful orgasm
The tone is very deceitful
Advising me, reminding me of the lies and empty promises
From those who claimed to have loved me
Those who forsaken me
A fuzzy flashback was shown to me
Of various backstabbings
This gatekeeper to the darkness
Has promised me everything
From fortune to fame
Infinite love to eternal unity
The catch is to live in solitary
Become recluse but produce yourself as needed
Undecided
Unsure what to do
I'm stuck in purgatory
For now,I equate interaction as disappointment and lies
Seclusion,equals rewarding,yet missing the human touch
Undecided, I shall sleep,doing only what is required of me to do
That voice will be calling upon me soon
Tonight I will adhere to its commands,pushing ignore when your call comes through.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Dear Diary,July 4th,2011
Dear Diary:
Today is a holiday and I woke up way early,I have no plans today. I did the cook out thing yesterday with my homegirl and her family. It was nice to be surrounded by real folk, these people never met me in their life yet they extended the greatest kindness to me and my children. Also, they invited me to become part of their family. I was happy inside and out, to hear that. My family isn't as big, they live right around the corner, and do not speak to me. Sad but true, I manage. I have no problem creating a world without those who tend to use and hurt me. I am very good at that.
Fortunately, I do not rely on other people to make me happy. I have to make myself happier on other levels. Its not always in a sexual form. Providing for my family, brings much satisfaction to me. Having a good heart, I believe is the key to happiness and less stress.
This new no bullshit diet I am on is awesome. I totally enjoy telling the time wasting men who text and call me to bug off. They do not buy or rent my content. They talk my ear off about their fantasies about me. They all allege that they are "real friends" and "not like other guys"sure,sure George,heard that one before. You are no different than a fan, you just want to fuck,let's keep it real.
I really am amused by the men who think I am impressed with their cars,or economic status,none of that shit phases me. Wow,how bitchass they get when they get a "no" from me,like "fat bitch,who are you to turn me down"lmao! Reality check guy, I am Dream and I am not a regular chick,you got me fucked up.com,lol....I am so not a lowly fat chick who jumps at (give it up the first night&get ass for FREE) dinner nights. I am not the one.
I have no time for crazy male drama crap, I am focusing on new innovative ways to make money. Creativity and success is all I eat and breathe. Sexuality, and being provocative is just part of the gumbo.
My Captain Save Em days are over,fellas trying to step to me,better have their shit together. I am not speaking of his FICO score,nor how his 401K is vested,and how many pairs of Jordan's he own. I am talking about his mind&heart composition,and have simple stuff like his own car and place for starters. That is not too much to ask. Because a guy can fuck til sunrise, but if he does not have his own,its not a good combo for a woman who does. And a man who is financially stable does not mean he's a prize catch,especially if he has a fucked up personality.
My kind of guy is laid back,not too uptight. He's the kind of guy who I can joke with and share my fears with. He's not a horn dog, he is sexual but not all about getting the pussy. He is a gentleman, he is genuinely concerned for me. He respects the fact that I have cut back on the wifely privileges because he wants to earn them. He isn't worried about my occupation or my past, he wants to be my future.
When sex with him does occur, its something cherished. I am not treated like those before me. He takes his time with the seduction. He makes sure I am pleased to the utmost. He puts in work, his tongue is the guide. He's not lead solely by his dick, his mind assist in seducing me. He learns all my pleasure spots,without asking. He nibbles on my neck,massages the knots out of my back,rubs on my booty just a little. His sweet kisses are impeccable, they make me wet as the mere thought of him.
When I am with him, I feel helpless like a child, as the spider to the fly. Yet, I am the Queen bumble bee, and He-the spider. The big booty bee, frozen in the fetal position, he puts his venom deep in me. Immobile like a coma patient, I want to move,but I cannot. I want to ride his well hung dick. I want to cum all over it. I wish I could take the lead,but I can't,I enjoy his power over me.
That is the man of my~Dreams~.
Happy 4th of July!
Today is a holiday and I woke up way early,I have no plans today. I did the cook out thing yesterday with my homegirl and her family. It was nice to be surrounded by real folk, these people never met me in their life yet they extended the greatest kindness to me and my children. Also, they invited me to become part of their family. I was happy inside and out, to hear that. My family isn't as big, they live right around the corner, and do not speak to me. Sad but true, I manage. I have no problem creating a world without those who tend to use and hurt me. I am very good at that.
Fortunately, I do not rely on other people to make me happy. I have to make myself happier on other levels. Its not always in a sexual form. Providing for my family, brings much satisfaction to me. Having a good heart, I believe is the key to happiness and less stress.
This new no bullshit diet I am on is awesome. I totally enjoy telling the time wasting men who text and call me to bug off. They do not buy or rent my content. They talk my ear off about their fantasies about me. They all allege that they are "real friends" and "not like other guys"sure,sure George,heard that one before. You are no different than a fan, you just want to fuck,let's keep it real.
I really am amused by the men who think I am impressed with their cars,or economic status,none of that shit phases me. Wow,how bitchass they get when they get a "no" from me,like "fat bitch,who are you to turn me down"lmao! Reality check guy, I am Dream and I am not a regular chick,you got me fucked up.com,lol....I am so not a lowly fat chick who jumps at (give it up the first night&get ass for FREE) dinner nights. I am not the one.
I have no time for crazy male drama crap, I am focusing on new innovative ways to make money. Creativity and success is all I eat and breathe. Sexuality, and being provocative is just part of the gumbo.
My Captain Save Em days are over,fellas trying to step to me,better have their shit together. I am not speaking of his FICO score,nor how his 401K is vested,and how many pairs of Jordan's he own. I am talking about his mind&heart composition,and have simple stuff like his own car and place for starters. That is not too much to ask. Because a guy can fuck til sunrise, but if he does not have his own,its not a good combo for a woman who does. And a man who is financially stable does not mean he's a prize catch,especially if he has a fucked up personality.
My kind of guy is laid back,not too uptight. He's the kind of guy who I can joke with and share my fears with. He's not a horn dog, he is sexual but not all about getting the pussy. He is a gentleman, he is genuinely concerned for me. He respects the fact that I have cut back on the wifely privileges because he wants to earn them. He isn't worried about my occupation or my past, he wants to be my future.
When sex with him does occur, its something cherished. I am not treated like those before me. He takes his time with the seduction. He makes sure I am pleased to the utmost. He puts in work, his tongue is the guide. He's not lead solely by his dick, his mind assist in seducing me. He learns all my pleasure spots,without asking. He nibbles on my neck,massages the knots out of my back,rubs on my booty just a little. His sweet kisses are impeccable, they make me wet as the mere thought of him.
When I am with him, I feel helpless like a child, as the spider to the fly. Yet, I am the Queen bumble bee, and He-the spider. The big booty bee, frozen in the fetal position, he puts his venom deep in me. Immobile like a coma patient, I want to move,but I cannot. I want to ride his well hung dick. I want to cum all over it. I wish I could take the lead,but I can't,I enjoy his power over me.
That is the man of my~Dreams~.
Happy 4th of July!
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