Dear Diary:
Laying here covered in sweat,tingling,full of passion. Marinating in his sublime essence,I want to smile so hard, but I think that my face is frozen. I slowly inhale, trying to savor the moment. The energy that we exchanged was incredible. My thirst was quenched by licking his sweat. My soul was at ease, the sexy confessions I released in his ear, was such a relief.
I wish that time would continue to cease. The powerful orgasms elicit tears causing my eyes to become bloodshot red. My clit humming from the caress of his lips. My pussy throbbing from the sensual beat down.
I am weightless, so open, and very vulnerable. I close my eyes and place my hand upon his smooth chest, my fingertips are riding the waves of his pulsating heart. The rhythm makes my pussy even wetter. His body is glowing and the flawless strokes seem perpetual.
All of the negative things that were done and said were erased. Once again, we are back to a clean slate. The intoxicating passion and vicious love consumes anything that is not warranted.
Which would explain the nauseating feeling I got by being with the another. My body was deathly stiff, my eyes were pierced shut. There was nothing he could do to bring me out of that unemotional state. The kisses he placed upon me felt like poison. The tears, he could not see, were from pure disgust. Upset at myself and utterly disappointed, I pushed him off me. It was silly of me to think that I could attempt to rekindle something that was extinct.
Totally grossed out by someone I had at envisioned a life with. I did not want him touching me. That was a very long night, I slept to farthest corner of the bed. He touched me, I flinched"baby,you are going to fall off the bed" he said. I sternly replied,"NO,I'm not". I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. When morning came,there was no kiss or sensual "good morning baby"greeting nor was there breakfast in bed. The conversation was minimal, eventually he got the point and he left.
My stomach was queasy, I cried. I was glad it was finally over. I could not endure another second in his presence. I thought I had made him feel uncomfortable, that is why he left. Honestly, that was not it. He left because I refused be attentive to him and I refused to have sex with him. Excuse me-he left because I refused to have UNprotected sex with him.
He has not given up his pursuit of me. He calls from various numbers and I am beyond ready to divulge why I do not want to be with him.
I will not spare his feelings, how he treated me when we were together, he needs to hear every word. This what I thought of saying to him:
"You know, things between us have never been the same since we broke up. I have tried to fathom getting back with you and having that life we wanted. I simply cannot see myself with you. The feelings that I had for you are no more. I can't even be a sex only friend with you, I am no longer attracted to you. As a matter of fact, I cannot talk to you period, we are not on the same level. I have grown. I'm in a place in my life where I am the happiest being among people on my level. I am not happy when I am with you. You drain the shit out of me. Lastly, I am in love, yes, I am in love with a man that gives me so much more than you could ever-mentally and emotionally. You could give me you every single day,but it will never equal to what I get from him, and I don't need to see him daily. I wish you the best,but do me a favor and never contact me again."
This love came abruptly,like a speeding comet. A red hot ball of fire,its contents unknown. Everyday is unpredictable, when we are together its outstanding. No matter how the day is going, once we leave each others presence, the remainder of the day is golden. I have a sense of safety when I am with him. The mutual trust is the main ingredient. He respects it, its never been a vernissage. The exotic, erotic love is dual, that can only be exploited by us, outside influences make it toxic.
So beautiful, the same being that can bring me to curse their name is the same person that gives me tears of pleasure and I scream his name. Nevertheless,I'm that woman who can ignore him for days,display my displease and make him feel like he's the plague. I'm that vivacious woman who is real and nurturing. Additionally, an intellectual woman with bomb ass "head" service and impeccable "cum" back pussy.
Its the magic I feel when I am with him that has kept me grounded. My sexy occupation gets overwhelming with raising a family,the fans, weirdos and stalkers I come across.
"Nothing Like Loving You"-Amerie(my song of the day).
The phone rings,its my Ex, he's pleading his case, talking about my present love and how he is the better man for me. I'm about to tell him,"once the light has burnt out for you,there is nothing you can do to turn it back on".
-The End.
~Dream~
*Never regret the things you have encountered, be thankful for the life lessons,the Xperiences*
