Dear Diary:
I have locked myself in the bathroom, and I grabbed you only because I fear what I may do to this man. I have no one else to talk to, and no one would really care to hear about this continued saga bullshit.
I had a little something to drink and I popped a pill earlier to calm my nerves. It seems to be counteracting with each other. I am almost in a panic state and I feel like I want to totally kick this mans ass!
After he pissed me off today, I damn near ran his fucking ass over with my Mercedes. He thought that I was playing with him, I am not sure why because we have been dealing with each other for the longest, so to assume that I was not serious was just utterly foolish...and it almost cost him his sorry ass life.
I know that I am composing this in an altered and angry state, but fuck-some of this has to be released before I really hurt him. I am so sick of his passive ways, and the narcissism is never cute nor sexy.
I am going to just type in short random blurbs about my feelings, I really do not have the mindset to go into what in the hell he did to get me so shittin’ ass hot.
There are times….
I want to bend him over (like a hoe ass bitch) and grab a fucking dildo and ram it ALL up inside of his ass so deeply...without any lubrication…
I feel there are also times where I want to grab that woman (any one of the one’s he’s fucked or is presently fucking) hold her by her hair and force her to suck his funky cum and others cum out of my pussy….bet he’d like that...she’s probably a nasty bitch like the mongrel he is...BOTH of them would be my hoe ass bitches…
And now that I am in vent mode….I must admit that I really could careless that he makes 6 figures, he can take that six figure income and go fuck himself….his precious money….the more he spends on me, it increases his idea that I am his property…to hell with him and his charismatic ways...at times I get treated like a pocket change trophy...his sweat socks and work uniform get better treatment than I do at times….
Fuck him...and all of the kids that he has or could have….and smart or silly me for not wanting a family with him...he is an ungrateful friend and an even awful lover….I am certain he would SUCK ASS as a father to our kid anyway…
Tonight HE will NOT be getting any pussy this way...silly son of a bitch….and I do not care if he leaves out to get it elsewhere….he would not want this pussy tonight anyway...I would so fake the sex tonight….he is NOT fucking worthy to even say the word cunt or pussy in my presence...he can’t even smell my pussy tonight….I would rather fuck a paraplegic...this one here will NOT get my loving tonight….
I just do not get him, it is so hard for him to be honest with me….why must he always lie about things...or excuse me...state promises that he cannot fulfill (same fucking thing,but he lives for the word play)...
What is it really? Is it the military or the law enforcement career, who is out here training our men to be such motherfuckers??!! I need to seriously find out because the fuckery must stop...stop the madness….training our men with these “defense mechanisms” instead of showing them ways to live in the truth….show them how to cope with life,not just being a servant to this God foresaken country....be a fucking man and be honest for a damned change….this must happen before the world ends….too much bullshit being done,to maintain what...so called "integrity" or to combat INSANITY...too many hearts I am sure have been broken and I know lives have been taken because of it...fucker
Okay,I feel like I have calmed down some now...because before composing this, I really wanted to bring death to that guy…..by my own hands...shit I almost laughed at that dramatic statement and the things I said in anger….hmmmm….wow…..he brought the darkness out in me tonight for real! Well,at least I am not screaming at the top of my lungs and crying like a baby anymore.
Two things I will be doing soon-one investing in a chastity device for his penis and he can only be freed if he adhere to the new “rules” of our relationship. Two-tonight I’m going to give him a sample of that by handcuffing him to the bed for a couple hours. I still do not plan on having sex with him, however,he will think that we’ll be having makeup sex once I leave out the bathroom and we discuss things. I’m going to pretend to listen to his every word, but I’ll have another agenda….I am going to fix his ass really good.
IF he is late for work,maybe this lesson will teach him not to fuck with my feelings again.I must go, he is banging on the bathroom door, one minute he is using a strong voice and the next he is speaking nicely...a common officer tactic of his (I see through his bitchassness each time).
Until next time,
~Dream~©2015 Thick Dream Productions/Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~
