I want to fuck you,just NOT right now

*I want to fuck you,just not right now.*

We are in the age of technology, fast this and quick that. Advanced technology has played a heavy role in our personal relationships. Porn to your Iphone to live sex video chat applications,etc. 

I believe it has a role in dating and sex. Men want sex sooner (and sometimes more nastier). Women now have to consider losing a male friend/companion when she decides to wait to have sex with a man whom she doesn’t consider a potential spouse or life partner. 

Why is that you ask? (Some) Men get pissed and down right upset when you make him date you,wine&dine you for months,sometimes years without no form of sexual contact. Yes, (some) men see the price of a meal, hair do’s and a few tanks of gas in her car as an investment…i.e.-down payment on the booty.

Many women do not think ahead before they decide to give into him, and allow him to smash. Which could (and usually does) result in a one night stand.

I’ve rarely had one night stands in my adult sexually active lifetime. The couple that have occurred, I was the one who did the “standing”. 

A tactful way to handle a very anxious male companion/not-a-potential boyfriend type. Allow him to be as open as he can possibly be with you. Make sure you know where he is coming from. Once you get a clear understanding of his intentions, then go from there. 

Example-if he is willing to wait and take you out over a course of a year or close to it…awesome. Then see him sporadically, do not text or call him daily. That way you are not sending out mixed messages. Send him an occasional message maybe with a cute pic attached (nothing nude).And whenever you do go out with him, limit your physical contact. A simple hug or kiss is fine. And do not dress too provocatively. It’s okay to show your shape,but keep the goodies covered for the most part. Choose a fragrance that is sexy, this is what’s going to linger in his mind when the evening is over-“damn,she smelled so good tonight”.  The way you carry yourself during the nights you do go out with him, what you wore and your scent will have him grabbing his bottle of Jergens before he closes his eyes that night. This builds up the anticipation.

**Now fellas,at some point she’s going to “size you up”. She will pay attention to your pants to see if you have the size dick that she is interested in engaging with. She may hug you with her back facing you (a slick tact Divas do, to see if one you are aroused by us, and two-to see if your meat is thick or big enough when you brush it against our ass cheeks). 

When the moment arrives and you decide that you want to give him some, erase all doubt and have NO expectations. Make sure it is a day where you are very horny, so you know even if he sticks a pinky finger inside of you…you will be profusely wet.  And the sex will be whatever YOU want it to be. If you’ve established a little connection with him, you should be fine. Now if you are best friends, and the sex is whack..then you’ll have a problem. My advice, keep your distance since you do not want to be involved with him on that level. Try not to attach yourself to him….so knowing his favorite color is not important. The only things you should be concerned with are his status (HIV that is) and does he want to “hit it and quit it” or does he want to have a more than one time sex events with you ;-).

Hopefully I’ve been helpful and you’ll figure the rest out, take it day by day.

~Dream~©Thick Dream Productions,LLC.

The Complacent Partner-Why Isn't She Kinky Enough

During the course of my life as a Web Diva, I have had many men open up to me about their sex life.  The majority of the topics have been the same-why isn’t she kinky enough in bed.

Here are some contributing factors why some women are not as freaky/kinky sexually:

*Her “freak level” may not be as high as yours. Some women are fine with the basic sexual positions. They do not require a three ring circus to achieve orgasm, they’re just simple when it comes to their pleasure.

*She may not be open to explore certain sexual acts such as fellatio or anal sex due to cultural beliefs and the stigmatisms that come along with it. Unfortunately, there are some people in the United States within certain ethnic groups, who frown upon women who perform oral sex and or receive anal sex. It is not considered the norm, and those who participate in such activities are classified as “nasty” or a whore.

*She may have had a bad experience when “new things” were presented to her sexually,such as a torn anus (from improper or zero prep of the anus).

*Some women are survivors of sexual abuse, and sex to them is for procreation and occasionally satisfying their mate. As a victim,she’s less likely to tap into a deeper form of pleasure.

*Men and women sex “cycles” are not the same. The male maybe in a period where he wants to receive oral sex versus engaging in intercourse. The female could be satisfied with just having sex and getting her toes sucked.

*Age does play a role also, sometimes when one partner is older there’s a generation gap to be considered. If she is older, menopause could be the issue. Or, she has her mindset on how sexuality is supposed to be, and is unwilling to change.  

I encourage you to talk about it, ask questions in a very tactful manner. In order to receive sex on the level you so desire, there must be communication and some compromise. ©2013 Thick Dream Productions/Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~

The Complacent Sex Partner

The complacent Sex Partner

"Complacency"
If you are a person who uses sex as a device in the relationship, please take the time to consider these things:
Sex/Intimacy should never be used as a reward
If there is something wrong in the relationship,speak up,communicate to your partner what’s wrong.
The person who is being sexually deprived may not stress to you that they are bothered by the decline in intercourse,but its definitely an issue-UNLESS….they are getting their needs met elsewhere….Example: He/She may not have established a new lover,however, most will contemplate or have one “in the wings”…everyone has that person(s) that they can call who they can “hook up” with (no strings attached=NSA)…that void will get filled…there are plenty of “clean up women” and “dick on wheels” eager to please your mate.
He/She may love you,and it may appear they still have your back,but in this day in time,sexually active people see withholding sex (intimacy=quality time) as a slap in the face.
So, if you are not in the selfish category (out doing your thing,but not taking care of your partner) then you need to relay that to your mate because what you are not doing,someone is doing it or plotted to do so. 
And if you are out doing your thing, and are NOT having sex or spending time with your partner, don’t ever think that person is oblivious..they know something is not right.
Furthermore, never assume that your partner is going to accept a decline in something they’re use to having which is YOU…your time,and your sex. Just because you have history (time invested) doesn’t make it acceptable.
Lastly, no one is exempt from this simply because at times we get caught up in our daily lives,selfish ways, and we forget that we have a responsibility to nurture that special person who has been by our side.©2013 Thick Dream Productions/Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~

"Dream of Intimacy Show"How To Keep Your Man Happy

How To Keep Your Man Happy

The Conclusion...

Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~is not a licensed therapist, and the content in the media displayed is for adult entertainment only.

Why Do They Cheat?

From the Desk of Madame Dream:

Hope everyone is enjoying  their weekend.  I know that I am. I'll be havin' some freaky fun as usual.

So how is everything going in the world of romance and sex?  I have an interesting topic to discuss today...why men/women cheat?  Now here is what I will do-list some common problems/reasons why cheating happens...if you have your own to add let me know:

1.  Your partner has lost interest in you or you have lost interest in them.

  A. Time changes people and often the person you grew into isn't the person they met & your partner doesn't like that new person you are.

2.   One of you don't do the things that you use to do when you first met.

  A. He use to buy roses and spoil you with gifts...then he stopped.

3.  Another person has caught your fancy.

  A. This other person they are attracted to are at times, the total opposite of what you are...or they're the person that he/she wishes that you would be.

4.  Your partner was enticed (sometimes unintentionally) by another to be with them (your partner was preyed upon).

  A.  That other person does what I call "massage" their ego...what we call back home "gasin' your head up"...doing & saying things to your partner that makes them feel good...basically rollin with whatever and 110% totally down for your partner.
  B.  The other person pursued your partner knowing they are in a relationship. Perhaps your partner did brush off their advances initially;however,still fell victim due to psychological games played by the other person.

Those are a few of the common reasons "Why People Cheat"I am sure everyone can come up with a list of a dozen...but these are the top ones.

To My Potential Mr.Dream

You don't understand me

You really don't know me

You say that you love me

Do you really know what love means

Are you reading between the lines

You have not done anything to prepare for me

To be apart of your structured life

You say life is about sacrifices

I say life is about choices

Having freedom to experience

opportunities that have been presented

You seem to show some resentment

Why are you so hesitant

The questions that I asked

Are you taking me seriously

You say that you want to be with 

only me

And you want certain things from me

But what have you given me

A few night's of passion

Which has caused this distraction

what I've named "a semi life crisis"

because you want me as your girl

just change my whole world

For what?

What are you offering me

that I can't provide myself

Dick-I can get like an item

off a grocery market shelf

I know what I bring to this 

virtual table

A feast of me

and all of my bounty

At times I think you don't know

what you want or need

If its me

Why all of the drama and negativity

Don't you know 

You are pushing me away

I've got things to accomplish

goals to be reached

and a whole lot of bullshit

Is not something I want to deal with

I know who I am 

I know what I want

I know what I need

Having a good man in my life

is not a necessity 

nor a priority

A man does not complete me

Having a good man in my life

compliments me

Yeah, its nice to have a warm body

at night laying next to me

However, the only way to see if I'm

the one you need

Is to see me from all

360 degrees

Get out of your comfort zone

think outside of the box

Then you will finally

to be able see

if its me 

you truly want.

(And why am I saying this...right here & right now...because I am more than a virtual fantasy that became your reality. You brought life to me...leaving your computer screen to giving you head in the front seat.)

Dear Diary Oct23,Doin Whats Best4Dream

Dear Diary:


This month has been unbelievably long,without my laptop working...I feel so freaking lost not being able to fully do my online Web Diva&Thick Dream Productions business like I need to. 
I have had some downtime to reflect on my life and my business. I have decided to go back to the basics,what got me here. I am done with the castings,not going to accept Co Stars other than my man,bf,boo,sweetie,spouse,aka my partner. Not saying that I will not collaborate with fellow adult entertainment industry folks. I am use to doing my scenes with my man/partner who is not in the business,he helps me because he wants to. 
I know that my associates are looking at me sideways because of some things that I stated on twitter.com/atl_thickdream this week. I cannot apologize for what I said because I can only do what works for me. I meant what I said when I stated that I am doing what everyone else is doing simply because its whats"in". I did not get into the adult entertainment industry nor did I become an entertainer for the awards,cliches, and groupies. I do my entertaining because its my passion, I love to entertain. I love to produce erotica, and I love creating erotic compositions. 
The downside of the industry is its one sided, the women in the business do not usually have a happy ended. Those who decide to fallback and focus on their career or are unable to go in it as deep, are not always respected by their peers. Hence,why my circle of associates is small. I am thankful to have their input on some issues that have came across my desk this year. I appreciate my industry folk and my friends who are in the "Lifestyle", without them I think I would have went batty trying to figure some shit out.
I now know that I need someone in my life and on my team who is truly supportive of my decisions. From my choice to  entertain or my choice to complete my degree. He must support the lifestyle that comes with it. That is very important. 
I also found out that being poly-amorous does not work for me. Although I have been honest with all parties involved, it is not going to work at all for me. Guy does not like sharing me with my Co Stars,so I know he does not enjoy sharing me with anyone else. Me being too honest about what I do,is not enough for them. Lord knows what they do on their time away from me, do I care? Yes and no, but I cannot get caught up in all that. My belief, if it does not affect me directly, its not my concern. I keep my partners safe when I play,especially when I produce a scene....that is all that should matter,period. 
This is not a shocker,but I want a REAL relationship. I miss having that man of my own. After being married over a decade, yes one can get use to that....he did spoil me to a certain extent, hell, I miss that. 
I do not plan on conforming for my next partner. I am too old for that shit, I will adjust my business and life to allow him into it. Most women will not do that, my girlfriends say"girl,you do too much". The thing is, they are not in the entertainment business. And their previous sex life is not plastered on the world wide web. So, unfortunately I have to do things slightly differently when dating and dealing with my guy. Sometimes I tolerate certain situations than they would allow, then in other situations I walk away from not giving it a second thought because I am not stressed about it..."another will soon come to replace them"...my thoughts. 
The only difference this time around is, I am not going to accept anyone without his own...meaning his own car,place,goals,and a job. Those few things are not too much to ask,I think they are important requirements since I have them all and I raise a family with minimal support. A man with his own, is a all true man. I want him to have his own hobbies,friends, and life outside of me and mine. I will support whatever his goals are, and I certainly will appreciate the help he gives me in my business. He does not have to be in a scene with me, that is his choice. It will be a mutual decision whether I do scenes with other people or not. I am willing to do softcore or erotica featuring myself and/or other women associates. Eventually, I will be paying models to do the scenes I won't or cannot do. He must understand that is a process though. 
I am listening to "Hood Love" by Mary J Blige, my eyes are watery thinking about the real moments I have survived,yet it never stopped me from loving again. I know right, I can't figure it out. After being lied to, cursed out, cheated on, threatened...I still have it in me to open my shell to that emotion-LOVE. I do not fall as deep as I use to, I am learning to back off easier when I see that person isn't deserving of me. 
I'd be a liar and a half if I said I am cool with my status, I am not at all. I do not know why I am being silly...could be the change in temperature, since I am use to having that bed buddy. Or it could be that the holidays are approaching...we usually do it big during the holidays or we struggle together-and do nothing at all...whatever the situation was, I was there loving and doing what was required of me....dammit, I miss that.
Yes, I could have any kind of man I want, but it would only be temporary if he cannot fulfill all of my needs-sexually,mentally, and able to give me the time I ask....I would have to piece him together with another...i.e-the poly-amorous situation. If the sex is good,but our conversation sucks....not good. Or our conversation is great,but the sex is awful...not good either. It has to be equal in every aspect to keep me diehard for him. And no, he can't just sex me....talk to me and not spend quality time with me,really not good. He would have to make time for me...or forget about me. 
www.twitter.com/atl_thickdream

Dear Diary Saturday,Oct15 (BLAH MOOD)

Dear Diary:
Its  Sweetest Day, I am getting ready to go out on the town this evening. I want to stay in with my teddy bear, in my Target cotton PJ's, eyes glued to my Samsung HDTV.
I feel sexy, I am happy, but I am missing a small part of me. A part of me is floating somewhere in the far beyond and it does not want to come back...lol...probably dreading this evening out.
I am going to be in a room full of people, yet all I want is to be held close and kissed gently upon my neck. Nothing major, just that simple. A warm embrace, on a chilly fall night....priceless. 
I am so spoiled by my fans and admirers, I should be whole...not even close. Pieces of me are missing....some parts I have given away....never to be returned.....and the rest wore off by improper "use",so they are out for repair...lol...those parts are on backorder.
A close friend of mine offered himself to me,I am undecided if I should take him up on his offer. He does not want a sexxxy display. He just wants to listen to me, and help where he can. He means well, but I do not want to cross into uncharted waters with him. Emotions will take you to places, you do not want to go or need to go with certain people. 
His hugs are innocent, and the tears that we share are genuine. We have had some of the same struggles, so I do not make a big deal out of seeing a man cry. 
The more I think about it, the more I am leaning to staying home....he just called and invited me over....he joked about spooning while watching DVDs tonight...and he will provide the Kleenex.
Ok,off goes the stiletto's and the MAC make up...I am spending time with my friend tonight, my EVO will get turned off soon....as I unwind and distress from all the extra bullshit that has been coming at me. Those people who said they loved or wanted to marry me, and cannot stop thinking about me....will not be thought of or brought up during this true friend time....nothing sexual will occur, which makes this really special. And yes,he has seen me naked....but we are grown,so shit like that does not matter. 
At the moment, I am freakin teary eyed,so wild that a woman like me has spent time with various types of people finds simplicity in a quiet evening barefoot close to a platonic friend. Men in my life are either unappreciative of my realness or unqualified to provide such emotional support to me,so why try to get something out of an incompetent source. And the ones who are all that and then some, are not available completely to me....and that totally sucks ass. 
I have to keep this writing short and brief,enough of myself has been divulged....oh well,eat it up...you evil forces that love to see my downs and want to know about my everything including,my pains.
Enjoy your Sweetest Day,hopefully it is spent with a real friend.
~Dream~

Long Time Cummin,From a Mistress Prospective by~Dream~

Long Time Cummin(From A Mistress Prospective)

It was nice him seeing again

my Dear long lost friend

such a busy man

so considerate of him

calling to see how I've been

checking up on how I was doing

I said to him "I've been very busy"

He said that he missed me

declared that he would like to see me

I said "anytime for you

my Dear friend"

Actually,I was impressed

no flattered

it was I, that HE

wanted to spend his

free time with

We scheduled an 8pm

late dinner date

We arrived simultaneously

at the place

where we always meet

The staff know us by name

our table seating is always

the same

We greeted with a long hug & a french kiss

He pushed in my chair

which reminded me

how he was such a gentleman

A few minutes went by

we didn't speak

just stared into

each others eyes

I wanted to break the ice

However,I was not going to be the one

who would speak first

When we last conversed

things were hostile

Tonight I wanted to remain amicable

all I could do was sigh and smile

I didn't want to risk

my mouth getting a foot in it

I propped my chin with my closed hands

moved in

Anticipating his chosen words

He cleared his throat and asked "do you have a curfew"

I said "no-the kids are gone for the summer

so-yes, I can stay out as late as I want to"

He said-"You look exceptionally good and its really nice seeing you again

seems like its been so long. I was afraid

that you wouldn't pick up the telephone

because of your last message to me"

""I never want to see you again

and I think its better that we split

and no longer speak""

I said-"you know I was mad at you

and I always say things in the heat

things I lash out at you"

(I always had a rebuttal, that pertained words that I didn't mean)

He said "how are the kids

and how's life been treating you

is there a new love in your life

if so, has he been good to you"

I said "the kids are doing just fine

and I'm not stating if there's someone

new in my life"

I said,"how are your sons&the wifey?"

(He's always up in mine

forever being so nosey)

I said "is she finally treating you righteously

or is she still gettin on your nerves nightly?

He said "well, you know things haven't changed

she's still bitchin & carrying on the same way"

I said "oh I see, thats the reason for this

late night gathering

the marriage between you two

is still being lived out unhappily"

I said,"So sorry to hear that your marriage still is not taking

a pleasant path"

He said "its okay, I am with you, which is where I want to be at"

I said "Excuse me, I'll be right back"

He said "I'll miss you when you're gone

so please hurry back

I want you to sit on

whats rising here in my lap"

I walked away from the table

switching my ass

strutting & occasionally giving a look back

While in the restroom, I fixed my hair

touched up the makeup on my face

puckered my lips restoring the MAC "Nymphette" lip gloss

He loved to taste

I checked myself making sure nothing

was out of place

the pheromones still remained

my antiperspirant still doing its thing

I glanced in the mirror for one last time

said to myself, "You sexy mutha...lets go out here & finish wowing

this man and once again, spring this nicca...so he'll spend

his very last dime on you, his Princess"

I laughed aloud and whispered,"His Seductress"

I approached him slowly from behind

kissed his ear & frontal lobe

grabbed between his thighs

I thought inside...my next move-he'd certainly be ready to go, if he didn't

we'd surely give this establishment a show

I placed my G-string panties

in his front suit pocket

He yelled to the waiter--"TICKET!"

I corrected him-"HE meant, may I get the check please"

He reached for the pocket that held my precum saturated panties

and began wiping the sweat

from his brow & forehead

He yield to give them a long deep inhale

I erotically watched, now utterly amused

As he quickly shoved my panties

into his Calvin Klein boxers

massaged himself with them

He licked at his lips

looked at me

I brushed my hair to one side

seductively ran my fingers down my neck

to my buxom breast & fondled one of my erect nipples

thru my dress

He leaned into me

with his lips

he gave my arm & chest two small pecks

He whispered into my ear

using his naturally sexy baritone

"I want you sooo bad

it wasn't one night

that I did not think of you

when my wife and I made love

all I could do was think about you

I tried to get her into the things

that you and I do

she just wouldn't budge

Babygirl,you really DO NOT know

how bad I missed you

dammit woman, you just drive me wild

with all that you do"

He said,"I am sorry for not taking you seriously, I was stupid brushing

off your needs"

I smiled & bashfully blinked my eyes

to confirm that I had agreed

with all that he said

I grabbed a linen napkin

from the table

to catch the remaining sweat

held & kissed his left hand

while he wrote his signature

on the credit card slip

with the other hand

I thought to myself

This man is oblivious

what I, his Mistress

had in store for him

It was so obvious

that he was lacking

It was all of me, that he had been missing

I am the one who would have

to take care of him

continue to fill in the gaps

fulfilling all his freaky fetishes

always being more desirable

And one could only imagine

what would transpire

the rest of the night

with this man
whom I've nicknamed

The Sexually Deprived Husband 2b continued....~Dream~

Aug.28,Dear Diary

Dear Diary:


I got my music on blast this afternoon,listening to,Mia X"I'll Take Ya Man",lol,I know right real gangsta tunes. I had to get hyped today after a really shitty week. Plus, I follow Mia X on twitter,I cannot stop laughing my ass off, at her talking about a lady who "fotted" on the plane,she said it "smelled like chitterlings",just straight ass "fot"lmao. I thought my tweets are interesting,but the celeb tweets are off the chain,especially LiL Mo,omy,she has me laughing on the floor,with her "messy"talk. She play cusses,she is a church diva,entertainer,but will take it to the street on you.
My weekend was totally laid back,spent it at home with the kiddie crew. I had a couple dates during the week. Yeup,I am not one of those chicks who lives for the freakin weekend, do whatever I want during the weekday and weekend,no biggie. 
My dates were not all that,guys are so full of shit,wow-I hate I am slightly clairvoyant,my gift has been working overtime lately. I spent a couple afternoons with an old friend of mine, who claim that he wanted to start dating me. Yawn, heard that one before. He is cool to hang with, has great creative input for my business. But, him as my man,no way...geeesh.
Then I went out with this big greasy nigga,lol,I am sorry,this my diary, so I can say what in the hell I want...right,thank you.  Well,he owns his own business too,so he rolls up in the Mercedes Benz,all cleaned up "for me". I was slightly impressed, until he said,"Mommie wants this don't she,you can have it boo,but we got to put all our money together in one big pot,so we split the pile". My eyes were bugged outa my head listening to this Faizon lookin negro tell me that I would have to give him my money, I make, to divide, man he was tripping. And just because you drive a Benz does not mean that I am going to just surrender my ass to you,hell nah big boy.
All last week, I got some random calls, all from lames. The tenderonie called to see if i would pick him up from work, I declined the ten bucks he offered as gas. I did not want to be bothered with him, and his foolishness. IF he had more than just dick to offer me, I might have entertained picking his string bean ass up, but nahhhh,he cannot get back where he use to be with me. 
Non compliance is the word of the day.....the main reason why I do not allow certain men in my circle. 
I am so waiting for my sweetie,fuck Daddy,or my present love interest to slip up with me. I am not anticipating it, but I can't be naive. I know he is not perfect. I trust him, only when he is in my presence...no different from the rest. 
I only went out with the other two guys because I was bored, I wanted to see what they have been up to, and that is about it. Plus, the Faizon look-a-like filled up my tank cuz, he does stuff like that. The other friend held my camera for a clip I posted on my webpage, harmless. 
My sweetie has a demanding work schedule, flexible only when he wants to do what he wants to do....you feel me. Men easily hide behind their work when someone or something is pulling on them, and for whatever reason they cannot make it...work is always the blame. OR, I love those who have kids and their Baby Moma pulls them every which way because they have a child or two in common. I do have sympathy, somewhat, but kinda hard to pull that card on a woman who cares for more than two children solo...with minimal family support. 
Women are slick,lol,hellooo,I am one,lmao...using the child to dump guilt on the guy because he has to work to provide for his child and sometime that may include overtime, so he misses a recital or a game. I say,ladies, do not be hard on him,there are a lot of fathers who want to be there and cannot or some who have the opportunity, but still choose not to be the active parent. Count your blessings ladies,if he misses a lot of things then yeah, get in his ass, but if he has an legitimate excuse-nothing you can do,but play the role of both parents til things change. I had the life that involved an active father once upon a time,oh so long ago, but he did not work enough hours. Which caused financial strain on the family. Thus, why I had to get out and get my hustle on. He started to hate me, for whatever reason, we fought all the time because he was here all the time, getting in my ass for no damned reason...he became a drunk and I am so glad that part of my life is over, and my children were happy to see us split. 
Anyway,geesh, I lost my focus there for a minute. Had a black woman flash back,lol....you know we think about the negative,never memories of the ex in a positive light. 
LOL-is this what I am like without my Vitamin D,really,wow,I can be a real pain in the ass,wow,I got to get my dick really soon then. I need sex like four times a week, this is the number me and my  pussy has came up with. It has to be fulfilling dammit, not some random shit. Something has got to give, now that I have started back having sex, so soon already,I feel like I am on a fucking schedule, not good, time to switch it up. Saturday fucking only,simply just won't do for me. I require to be sexed more often than a weekend fling. I can go without sex for good lengths, but once I get it, it has to be maintained because if my present partner cannot produce it as needed, he will either get replaced or I cut off sex entirely, to regroup and try months later. 
I was so angry with my sweetie recently, but I kept my feelings to myself, but its so time to release those emotions. Either I write about it or we have angry sex, and that has not happened because when I see him...his face makes me happy...I forget why I was angry in the first place.
Like I said, last week was really shitty, and I really needed him my friend and lover to come by and see me. Schedule did not permit it, but still...I told him I am like a spoil brat when it comes to my time....grrrrr. I am pouting as I wrote this,yes, I am....lips poked out, eyes droopy,as a matter of fact my eyes are watery, like I am about to cry. I am horrible, yes I know. 
I am now playing "I want your sex" by George Michael...shaking my hips,wearing nothing but some a pair of hipsters and a tank. I wish I was riding his dick while singing/dancing to this song,high energy. (SIGH)
Ha, I am such the succubus, I told him that, so he better watch out. I cannot wait til we do everything on my checklist,lol,starting with a role play session. I am going to show him how differently I treat him verse these other MF'ers that have had a chance to be in my presence. 
The next thing on my list is to get fucked facing the city of Atlanta. Yes at a luxury hotel, on the balcony or windows wide open and I/we want to do a live sex cam show. He wants to sex me while others are viewing, oh that is so easy to do. I want him to "show off" to my wana be's, fans, admirers, and groupies. They will so envy him, and I will enjoy every moment of it. 
Well, let me wrap up this writing, off to the next page,I have to rant a lil bit more.
Kisses to you,
~Dream~

Dear Diary,June21.2011

Dear Diary:
I am up early this morning,on this official first day of summer. I have a few hours to play without a child of mine in sight,wow-a rare occasion, so why not write something.
My Blackberry is on silent, I had my V8,so I feel like I am on the top of the world this morning. No, I did not wake up to some morning wood. My mind is not bogged down with stress, and my heart is not heavy with trouble. I feel lighter this week due to cutting off some family members that were taking advantage of my kindness. Yes,sometimes its family not those in the streets who fuck you over.
Although my heart is not heavy, I am pondering a few characters and one individual in my life. I guess the easiest way I was told to deal with something, is to break it down to the simplest form...so I will do that this morning one by one.
Let's see who shall I pick apart first? LOL......ok,I will start with my Xmen,the characters that they are. Typical assholes and jerks, yup-you had me,so why concern yourself with what or whom I am doing now. IDK-nosy....curious,either way they are back to fan status,no more chances with me. 
My Xman I named "Hostile"aka "Mr.Take Over Brother"he is being salty because I shared that I was involved with someone younger than himself,this stopped his stalker calls at 4am, and he quit begging to come spend the weekend to lay up and do absolutely nothing. He's being childish, I offered my friendship minus the sex,but I guess he cannot be a man and accept that...oh well.
Next there is my last Xman "Mr"he&I are amicable for the most still,but he is jealous I am back dating, I believe he was happy when I was moping over him, and building a wall up for anybody who came at me. I woke up to a text message from him sent at 2am, he tried to slick say I was too close to comfy with my next door neighbor. Guess he thinks I am doing him or was creeping with him when he was living with me. Um hell no,sad he thinks I am that type of woman and besides the neighbor is so not my type. By the way,he's not shared that he is involved with someone yet because he STILL wants to appear like he is the "good guy"working and not paying women no attention. He truly thinks, I am a fool. Its all good because we know that he left Atlanta to be with another woman or took one to Texas with him.
Moving along to the Tenderonie, OMG-this guy is truly a fucking work of art. A liar, and he flexed on Facebook about a hook up I was going to give him,and I revoked that upon reading the post. I have to HAVE to divulge his real age,omy I know its horrible, I hate to even write it....23! That tall string bean is only 23, I found out when he was speaking with a business associate of mine who happens to also be in the music production industry as well. He told me he was 26,that was still cutting it close,but damn 23,that is only 8years older than my oldest child. Yes, the thrill is gone. He flex on Facebook and on other things too, then lied about his age. Major strikes and a turn off. WTF can he do for me besides sling some dick?! 
Yesterday Tenderonie called to ask can he come by and chill with me today because he needed to escape. Why is that? Why me? I know that I have said "come to this oasis,this island of me"but damn,that erotic poetic proclamation was not for the random man. That saying I came up with was clearly for my lover and my man. I am not a refuge for wayward men. I know my name is "Dream",but damn. I've already blocked his number,but he can text me. I have said that I am not having sex any longer til my birthday,ok...so what, I was not direct by saying "I am no longer sleeping with you". 
I just figured out why I was not direct with my last message to the Tenderonie. I do not want to hurt him by saying I don't want his dick no more, I do not care what he is going through because he brought on this particular situation,and he is grown.
Lastly, I have someone else who say he's interested in me. He and I were suppose to attend the Braves game together last week,but my hectic family life put the brakes on that date night. I hated to cancel on him, I really want to date him,but I feel I am being apprehensive. He's a analyzer, that can be a good and bad thing. Often guys like that read stuff totally wrong, and trying to figure me out and the dynamics of my occupation will drive him nuts. He claims he can handle it, and wants a relationship with the "real" me,he likes the chick in front of the camera, but wants to know the woman,the MILF-the "real"me. That is fine, but I did explain to him that I am harder on the men who know me online and especially if you have seen me naked before meeting me in person. 
I like him, not too crazy about the fact he is from Decatur and he has a big dick that I cannot touch til I get to know who he really is. (I've met his representative,now I want to meet the real him.)
Oh yeah, I felt that monster dick of his on my thigh when he surprised me with a hug then a kiss. He is a great kisser, my lips were very comfortable against his. 
I am scared,that kiss gave me some powerful energy. The sexual energy I sense with him is very intense, very scary. I got to remain calm, date him, and let things happen naturally. It sucks that he is fully in the know of who I am, he knows how sexual of a person I can be. On the contrary, that is not all I am about, so I must take my time with him, I want him for my own. That is so selfish of me, but I want my name all over his dick, and no I do not want to share him with anyone....maybe his employer, and family-that is about it. 
Like I do not give a fuck about the Tenderonie, and damn all my Xmen-this new crush, I want to be deemed "Property of Dream". I want my name...real and persona tatt'd on his neck or back,lol....I am so serious.com. 
I made such a selfish statement to him,maybe it was the Mojitos talking,but I told him that I wanted  him and I to go get tested before we had sex. BECAUSE I want to feel all of him no barriers, I want free range to do anything with him and he can do likewise. Hot damn, I am getting wet just thinking about it. 
Wait hold up,back to reality I have got to get to know him first. I researched our Zodiac signs, not a good pair, but fuck it I am going to try it out anyway. I am going to date him the traditional way, everything should be cool. Long as I start "acting" like I want a relationship,lol...my homeboy told me I wasn't....and as long as he doesn't have any game in these beginning stages-we are double cool;however,if I detect  an ounce of game, I am yielding and taking another course of action. I won't dismiss him,just change the outcome. 
Its hard being my man because I do like communication, quality time, but I do not like being smothered-I like an equal balance of all,I so do not like initiating sex or anything ALL the damn time...I know men are not mind readers, but shit I am simple-I want time spent,I want my time away from you, and I want sex with only you....get's no easier than that. 
Let's see if he can get it right.
Kisses to you,
~Dream~