Dear Diary:
I am sitting in front of my window, trying to relax, looking at the moon shining so brightly above. My house is totally silent. I can actually think aloud.
Tonight I am on all of my various social networks and sites,ehhh gads, the men are so stalkerish at times,lol. The attention is cool, but I do not let it go to my head. What I yearn for, is nothing a fan or groupie can provide for me.
My weekend was okay,I guess...I did not get any sex prior to my menstrual cycle. So, I had to tough it out, I almost bit my own leg off for that shit. I hated not getting sex prior to my period, its horrible. My sexual peak is really high right before it comes,and when the last drop stops...you can best believe I am just as horny or worse. Somebody son will be tapping this ass very soon because I am close to scheduling a gangbang video shoot or something,just kidding, but my sexual drive has been extremely high lately.
Saturday night, I spent it with my sweetie....due to my cycle, no sex took place. I wanted to at least suck his dick, but I kept my hands to myself. I feared that I would get too aroused and could not finish, so why get all hot&bothered,for nothing. I did enjoy seeing him stroke his dick, while I whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Now that was such a turn on.
I got shit faced drunk on Saturday night too, I was shocked as hell that I did not suck his dick or allow him to fuck me in the ass, hell I was so drunk...the next day my asshole was sore....I thought he had fucked my booty without my knowledge, but he said all we did was had some great conversation and played around with the "L"word. Uuugh,yes...."L-O-V-E"...why in the hell would that word come out? Way too soon for all that. I mean, I care about him, but LOVE him,HAHAA,NO way man, he got some things to iron out before I even allow my heart to go that route with him. I am just saying. Because you know how some people are great hunters, but suck at keeping their "prize" maintained...well, I kinda suspect that is him.
Like, I had to get drunk because he insisted on me sharing my"work"with him, scenes from my website and webpage, he is such the voyeur. The deal was that he was to look not as my lover, but as a porn reviewer. He did good until these couple scenes we came across, he started to compare what we do or have not done. SEE, I knew he could not handle it. NO man can handle what I do, I do not know why they sike themselves out. He was all over analyzing the flicks, saying "you never did that to me" or "you went HAM on his dick,babe you sucked him like he was a fucking King" and the next day the questions did not stop,"what did he DO to earn that"..."I want to know, what did he do to get that kinda treatment from you". Are you freaking serious man, I cannot believe he was drilling me so damned hard. He knows I HATE when he interrogates me, so not cool. I had to explain to him, that it was not a personal scene done with a boyfriend or lover, it was a scene I did with male talent, him being the analytic guy that he is, he should have been able to detect that from the video. But hey, he thinks he knows me totally, but he is far from wrong. The statement he made,"that was not fucking work,that was personal...the eyes do not lie". SHIT,he obviously does not know how good of an actress I am, see...that always fucks with the men I deal with, they underestimate my abilities as a performer, tisk tisk tisk.
All that going back and forth with that inquisition, I wanted him to just come over and fuck the shit out of me. Just do it dammit, since you think I put extra effort into a video scene, and the sex we've had does not mean shit to you. I licked this man pubic to almost his anus and he is ragging on me about a blow job video I did back in 08, get the fuck out. OK, I wear the nigga NUTT-stache and kept on sucking him, OKAY,big freaking deal,lol,I licked close to your asshole my sweet, so what. I reminded him how when we first met, he ate my pussy like Queen Sheba, and we did not fuck. I brought that up only to point out how passionate he is about oral sex also, so do not knock me,geesh.
GRRR,I am so ready to get a real good dick down from this man because he is good with kinda pushing my buttons. I have a smart mouth with him too, so I know that he so wants to punish me with his dick.
I felt that he wanted to fuck me anyway, regardless of my period being on, fuck the booty and pull me by my freshly relaxed hair. I am not going to allow him to anal sex me, that is a treat for the man that sticks around for at least a year, and his dick is borderline IFFY in size, like it could really hurt if he pumps my booty one good time.
I told him that,"the pussy and head is a wonderland within itself,when you master that...then we can talk about everything else". I meant every word, like how in the hell you talking about anal sexing me, and when I do a good Kegal or two, you are ready to cum,lol,HA....so you got jokes baby. I mean, he is not a two minute man, but when he masters sexing me while I look him in the eye,throw all of my 62+inches off ass on him,and I squeeze my pussy muscles on his dick, then we can go onto something else....you are the fucking master,lol,literally.
Shit, my sweetie has a lot of catching up to do...like we have only accomplished one of my sexual fantasies. It was when I jerked him off in the mirror, that was sooo HOT! I am still waiting on my next fantasy, being sexed city view facing Atlanta. I want to talk about what we plan on doing to each other, then do it when we actually see each other, oh he loves when we do that,and teehee....so do I....but I like to add to it. Dammit, I am making myself horny.
I wish that he would do something spontaneous this week like text me from the hallway of my apartment at 3:30am,"open the damned door, I am outside, here to give you this dick you been wanting". If I was awake or not, I would answer that freaking door, after I made sure my breath was tight and my hair was not a hot mess.
Okay, I cannot take it no more. I am going to bed, NO I will not masturbate. The next orgasm I have will be when he sticks his pretty brown meat package inside of me,breaking that post menstrual seal.
Goodnight,
~Dream~
