Dear Diary:
Thought I would crack you open. Its been awhile since I sat in deep thought. I am sitting in this chair, staring at the bed. Tangled up sheets, and the thrown to the side comforter. The scent of hot sex still lingers. I can't help, but revisit the memory of how it got that way.
He came home after being on assignment for a couple of weeks. He looked so tired, but I could not help but pounce on him. Something about him, tired or not, he turns me the fuck on.
His moods are not always the best after being away like that, I try to distract him from the stress with my attention. It helps, but its only temporary. I see the job is wearing on him.
Last week was our anniversary, and of course, I celebrated it alone. Well, not really. I invited a friend over for drinks. One thing lead to another, he winds up under my dress. We had sex on the living room sofa, on our anniversary. I felt so horrible afterward, but not really. He wasn't home to celebrate our anniversary. Honestly, I don't think he would've remembered if I hadn't mentioned it. His focus is work, even when he is home, his mind is at work.
When he came home this time, he seemed overly suspicious. He was looking through the trashcans, he turned back the sheets thoroughly examining them before laying down. What was he hoping to find? A condom in the trash or cum stains on our sheets. I would never be that stupid, to bring another in our bedroom...and like really...not change the sheets. I was very particular about bringing another home, I was cautious where we play and I make sure that I do a thorough sweep of the room after my playmate leaves.
I want to have sex with him so bad, he seems so tense. I want to relieve whatever doubt or frustrations are on his mind. He is laying on his back, rubbing his sexy bald head. I kiss his temples, softly kiss his lips and slowly kiss my way down to his lap. I apply a little more moisture to my lips and mouth, I go in firmly on his dick. My pussy immediately gets wetter, the taste and the contact with his dick gives me a exuberant sensation. The rocking of his hips, while his dick is in my mouth, keeps my nipples hard as pebbles. I slurp his warm clear precum, a signal to go down further on his throbbing shaft. He grabs my hair, massages my neck and face, my head bobbing becomes sexier. Moving my head in rhythmic waves,up and down,down and up til he cums hard in my mouth. His legs are shaking, he slaps the bed, shakes his head "oh baby,you know how to get me every single time,I love it when you do that to me"he said. My mouth full of his cum, I bashfully smile, then swallowed his load.
I reached under the pillow, to hand him his gift and I see a part of a gold condom wrapper peeping out from underneath a magazine that had fell behind the bed. "Oh shit" I panicked. "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY HONEEYYY" I blurted out. I quickly shoved the box in his face, to prevent him from looking where I was looking.
I don't recall what he said when I hand him the box, that contained his Armani sterling silver diamond encrusted cufflinks. My mind went blank. All I could think of was, how in the hell did that fucking condom wrapper get behind the bed.
It's morning he's getting dressed for work, I pretend to be sleep, I watch him with one eye open. He checks his phone, spends an awful long time on the phone outside on the porch. I tried to listen on the conversation, but he's very good, he kept checking inside to make sure I was not up. The tone of the conversation was not work related, it was a woman he was on the phone with, I could tell.
He comes over to my side of the bed,brushes my hair away from my face, and leans in to kiss my forehead "sweetheart, I'm about to go, the Captain has a special announcement this morning,so I have to leave earlier than usual" he explains. "Oh ok,honey,have a good day, and be safe"in my most softest voice.
As soon as the Impala leaves the driveway, I one-grab the piece of wrapper from behind the bed and two-I rush to get dressed. All kinds of thoughts are running through my head as I get dress for my day. Undecided what to wear, I contemplate the lunch date I had planned for with another. Yes, I want to rack my brain about who was my man on the phone with,but not really. I am not surprised. I knew in my heart that he was seeing someone else. His stories about working late nights and an abundance of out of town trips were all obvious clues. The sex between us didn't change, that is usually the first giveaway,but not here. He and I both have a very healthy sexual appetite. Which is why we mingle in the swinger lifestyle. At times, he is more than I can handle and at times, I crave variety that he can't satisfy. So it works for us.
Yes, I know he and I are breaking the rules of the lifestyle by seeing others, behind each others back. I want to stop, fucking other people, I truly do. I feel like I can't stop, I get extremely lonesome when he is away with work. I've spent holidays, including my birthday alone in this house. Well, at least he thought I was alone, for Christmas I cried my eyes out. And I called over the neighbor, he made me dinner. I spent my Christmas with our neighbor, fucking at our dinner table, when he called to check in, I did not hesitate to pick up the phone. I answered the phone while bent over with the neighbor. He didn't know, I was eating fried turkey and I was being stuffed by a pudgy piece of cock on the other end.
When he came home to ring in the New Year with me, he was happy, overly happy. That was not in his character. He's dancing in the doorway, his arms full of gifts for me. I am excited to see him. As I lean in to kiss him,I noticed smeared lip gloss glitter on his ear lobe, and his shirt collar held a hint of an Avon perfume product.
Am I upset that he sleeps around me on me? No,not really. When he takes care of me, and does what he needs to do, why would I be upset with him? I am highly disappointed that he uses his work as an escape goat. We could easily entertain others,as we have in the past. I am not sure what happened to us. The affection, the passion still remains, its apparent we still love each other.
It's dinner time now, he's late, I had to put his plate in the microwave. I decided not to go to lunch with the other. I stayed home to finish up some work and I baked him his favorite Key Lime cupcakes.
I had a couple of glasses of Moscato to calm my nerves, so I am tipsy. We greet each other with our usual hug and kiss. I taste the alcohol on his lips too. He explained that he and a couple guys stopped at the bar after work for some drinks. While scarfing down his dinner, I paid close attention to his bulging mid section. "Yuck,he's gaining weight,must be eating that bitch cooking too"I thought to myself. He's chewing with his mouth open, I couldn't help but give a look of disgust. He stops eating "whaaat,what's wrong baby" he ask. Being sarcastic I say "that food must be good or you must be hungry". We both burst into laughter "BAHAHAHAHHA".
Dinner is over, he's rubbing my feet, and we're watching ESPN. "Baby,what ever happen to the old days, when we use to party together,I miss that" he said. "What do you mean, we party, just last month we went out twice to two different nightclubs" I said. "Nooo,not that kind of partying, I mean, meeting up with other couples like us,for fun" he explained. "I don't know,you tell me, you're the one with the busy work schedule,your job keeps you out of town a lot,do we even have time to go out and meet couples like we use to" I rebutted. Then he went into this big speech about how he wants to re-engage into the swinger lifestyle, and how our relationship needs that spice and we would both benefit from it. Some of what he was saying was truth and the rest was bullshit.
I finished off the bottle of wine, placed the glass on the table "so are you going to introduce me to one of these women who you've been seeing, if I agree to this" I asked because I wanted to know. "What women, how do I have time to see anyone, I work and when I am not working, I am home with you" he tells me. "Yeah ok"I say. He turns off the TV and heads into the bedroom,so we can shower before bed.
He runs the water, while the water is getting ready, he eats my pussy til the bathroom is good and steamy. I am drunk from the wine, my head is spinning, I hold onto the back of his sexy bald head for balance. He stopped licking me before I could cum, pulls me up "come on,this shower will help you sober up". He helps me into the shower, when I am stable, he goes to use the toilet. He flushes "AHHAHHHAAAA"I scream, the cold water shocked the shit out of me and I was sober quick. He runs into the shower,almost busting his ass,he stands in front of the showerhead until it reaches warm again. Awww,how sweet of him. He's always looking out for my safety.
He makes love to me in the shower, it was very good. My breast he held tightly against his chest. We damned near sucked each others lips off our faces. Feeling slightly nauseated from the wine, I turn around to hold onto the wall. His dick throbbing near my cervix, my pussy squeezes down on him. He bites the back of my neck. We both begin to orgasm. During climax he starts talking real smooth"baby,you know I love you,I will never hurt you...I want us to start swingin again, we are gona do it because you know I am not goin anywhere...we need the fun...and...and the first thing we are gona do is...meet all the motherfuckers you have been fuckin off with behind my back....yes...and you are gona bring them here....one by one,I want to see them fuck you...so I can do it even better". Before I could respond, he covers my mouth, his dick still hard in me, he thrust himself deeper inside and ejaculates. He turns the water off, hands me a towel. I am speechless.
So, I am sitting here thinking. How am I going to get any man to come fuck me in front of my man. A few of them know I'm involved and a couple have no clue. The ones who know about him, know his occupation and they know how intimidating Officers can be. From the beginning he made that known "tell him you don't need him no more,you have a cop now". He damn near ran off all my friends.
There is no way in hell I am going to be able to convince anyone to go through with this. Not any who know about his ass,that is. The one person who I had in mind, won't do it because he is afraid that he'll have him arrested if he fucks me too well. I know, it sounds stupid.
I want to please him in anyway I can, but this is difficult. I don't want to lose him. I feel like I owe it to him. And why the fuck I am not focusing on the affairs he's had? Besides the glitter from the lip gloss on his collar and the time away from home,that's the only proof I have. Which is not enough proof, to bring it up to him, he will only say that I am "deflecting".
I would ask the neighbor to come and join us for play,but he hasn't had anything pleasant to say about him since he spent Christmas with me. I called him this morning and I explained the situation to him, just to see what he thought. The neighbor said"he only wants to do this to show you up and to stroke that fuckin Cop ego of his. It's not about you Dream, its not about you guys' relationship, its all about him, his ego and his insecurities...listen,if he loves you...like he says, he will back off you and if you love him...do not go through with it...work on your relationship together and if you want to swing,do it, but with non threatening parties...a person neither one of you knows,that's if you want to be a swinger again...with him". The neighbor made all valid points, everything makes sense now.
I went next door to get some ice, the icemaker is not working again. The neighbor was busy, told me he would bring some over when he was done.
The neighbor is here, we had sex in his office chair. He's in the bathroom now. What an incredible feeling. I am in our home, in his manly retreat,naked,sweating from the wicked sex I had in his office with the neighbor. Let me check my phone, its been going off since he got here. What the fuck-I just received text messages"I saw the neighbor guy go nside the house,I know ur there wit him now,tell him I'm cumn n NOW&u better b ready2fuck n front of me or I am going2choke you out&kick his ass".
Oh shit,he's at the door!!
TTYL...
~Dream~
