Woke up pillow wet
Heart heavy
Solid mind
Feeling thankful
Feeling wounded
Although physically rejuvenated
My heart is injured
The war is not over
Newness awaits
Getting prepared, ready to undergo another metamorphosis
The friends and fam I will miss
No one will ever understand who truly occupies this shell
The sexual, the delectable
Socially unacceptable
Pleasantly plump performer
Analytical Mommy
Speaks but who really listens
Do I really have your attention
Many are caught up in the holiday madness
On a rush from being fed a major dose of commercialized antidepressant
I could careless what is under a mother fucking Christmas tree
There are much more important issues in the world
Then breaking my neck to go buy shit that I don't need,all because its on sale
My attention is focused elsewhere
Ready to kiss 2011 goodbye
Happy to salute a New Year
Embraced all of its challenges
Proud to have my sanity
Celebratory cuz all of the bills got paid
Oh yes-a mother fucking victory
Thankful, I'm not homeless
Blessed, to be able to sleep on my own nice warm King Trump mattress
Came a long way from sleeping in my car at the post office
Had to revisit the pain one more time
Regurgitated the bitch so much
Felt like I was pregnant
I am swollen
Ready to burst
Time to finally deliver
Sucking in the belly
Sticking out my chest
Hands up, sliding on my vest
Digested, grieved, ready to lose more fam&friends
Pulled out the pin
Silently, awaiting for some of the smoke to clear
Mystically, I will appear
Radiating, stiletto proud, showcasing my ass
A highly confident stance
No entourage behind me
I approach the stage
Taps the mic
"I have arrived bitches, this is MY final phase"
Applause comes from the dark horizon
Its my fairy Goddess Mother
Her affluent angelic voice speaks
"The spin cycle is over
Now its time to rinse
Dream,take off the gloves
Its time to do this
You're no newbie
Training days been gone
Playtime is diminished
Give em all you got
I promise you, they want more
If its success you want
Then success ye shall get
Dreams are good
BUT now its time, to have your
REALITY
Behold, I present to some&reintroduce to others
The revitalized
The Ms.Atlanta Thick~Dream~"
~©Dream~
Friday, December 23, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Ever Wonder"What Does~Dream~dream of?"
What does DREAM dream of?
This Dream dreams of
The Heavenly Father
My one and only Mother
My dream is one day taking her out of poverty
I hate seeing my family struggle and knuckle bust their whole life long
This Dream dreams of
Happy days and fearless nights
A world crime and debt free
This Dream dreams of
Sexy handsome men
All born to serve to me
Chest as hard brick
Dick long as a yard stick
This Dream dreams in color
To bright shades of purple to deep tones of green
This Dream dreams in stereo
From high pitch giggles to loud moans
This Dream dreams of everything that turns her on
From black card shopping to big boot knocking
Your Dream dreams of
Me & You doing the things we love to do
From Your dick thrusting in my pussy and making it pop like Bubble Gum
To the heated arguments that lead to steamy neck grabbing,hair pulling make up sex
This Dream dreams of
Immortality and leaving a legacy
My womb has been just as fruitful as my ideas, can't wait to see the harvest
My seedlings I've held close to my bosom
This Dream dreams of
hope,fear,humor,pain,pleasure,fortune,poverty,and fantasy
True ingredients of a~Dream~.
Dear Diary:Competition Among Drama Kings Dec.19,2011
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Sunday, October 23, 2011
Dear Diary Oct23,Doin Whats Best4Dream
Dear Diary:
This month has been unbelievably long,without my laptop working...I feel so freaking lost not being able to fully do my online Web Diva&Thick Dream Productions business like I need to.
I have had some downtime to reflect on my life and my business. I have decided to go back to the basics,what got me here. I am done with the castings,not going to accept Co Stars other than my man,bf,boo,sweetie,spouse,aka my partner. Not saying that I will not collaborate with fellow adult entertainment industry folks. I am use to doing my scenes with my man/partner who is not in the business,he helps me because he wants to.
I know that my associates are looking at me sideways because of some things that I stated on twitter.com/atl_thickdream this week. I cannot apologize for what I said because I can only do what works for me. I meant what I said when I stated that I am doing what everyone else is doing simply because its whats"in". I did not get into the adult entertainment industry nor did I become an entertainer for the awards,cliches, and groupies. I do my entertaining because its my passion, I love to entertain. I love to produce erotica, and I love creating erotic compositions.
The downside of the industry is its one sided, the women in the business do not usually have a happy ended. Those who decide to fallback and focus on their career or are unable to go in it as deep, are not always respected by their peers. Hence,why my circle of associates is small. I am thankful to have their input on some issues that have came across my desk this year. I appreciate my industry folk and my friends who are in the "Lifestyle", without them I think I would have went batty trying to figure some shit out.
I now know that I need someone in my life and on my team who is truly supportive of my decisions. From my choice to entertain or my choice to complete my degree. He must support the lifestyle that comes with it. That is very important.
I also found out that being poly-amorous does not work for me. Although I have been honest with all parties involved, it is not going to work at all for me. Guy does not like sharing me with my Co Stars,so I know he does not enjoy sharing me with anyone else. Me being too honest about what I do,is not enough for them. Lord knows what they do on their time away from me, do I care? Yes and no, but I cannot get caught up in all that. My belief, if it does not affect me directly, its not my concern. I keep my partners safe when I play,especially when I produce a scene....that is all that should matter,period.
This is not a shocker,but I want a REAL relationship. I miss having that man of my own. After being married over a decade, yes one can get use to that....he did spoil me to a certain extent, hell, I miss that.
I do not plan on conforming for my next partner. I am too old for that shit, I will adjust my business and life to allow him into it. Most women will not do that, my girlfriends say"girl,you do too much". The thing is, they are not in the entertainment business. And their previous sex life is not plastered on the world wide web. So, unfortunately I have to do things slightly differently when dating and dealing with my guy. Sometimes I tolerate certain situations than they would allow, then in other situations I walk away from not giving it a second thought because I am not stressed about it..."another will soon come to replace them"...my thoughts.
The only difference this time around is, I am not going to accept anyone without his own...meaning his own car,place,goals,and a job. Those few things are not too much to ask,I think they are important requirements since I have them all and I raise a family with minimal support. A man with his own, is a all true man. I want him to have his own hobbies,friends, and life outside of me and mine. I will support whatever his goals are, and I certainly will appreciate the help he gives me in my business. He does not have to be in a scene with me, that is his choice. It will be a mutual decision whether I do scenes with other people or not. I am willing to do softcore or erotica featuring myself and/or other women associates. Eventually, I will be paying models to do the scenes I won't or cannot do. He must understand that is a process though.
I am listening to "Hood Love" by Mary J Blige, my eyes are watery thinking about the real moments I have survived,yet it never stopped me from loving again. I know right, I can't figure it out. After being lied to, cursed out, cheated on, threatened...I still have it in me to open my shell to that emotion-LOVE. I do not fall as deep as I use to, I am learning to back off easier when I see that person isn't deserving of me.
I'd be a liar and a half if I said I am cool with my status, I am not at all. I do not know why I am being silly...could be the change in temperature, since I am use to having that bed buddy. Or it could be that the holidays are approaching...we usually do it big during the holidays or we struggle together-and do nothing at all...whatever the situation was, I was there loving and doing what was required of me....dammit, I miss that.
Yes, I could have any kind of man I want, but it would only be temporary if he cannot fulfill all of my needs-sexually,mentally, and able to give me the time I ask....I would have to piece him together with another...i.e-the poly-amorous situation. If the sex is good,but our conversation sucks....not good. Or our conversation is great,but the sex is awful...not good either. It has to be equal in every aspect to keep me diehard for him. And no, he can't just sex me....talk to me and not spend quality time with me,really not good. He would have to make time for me...or forget about me.
www.twitter.com/atl_thickdream
This month has been unbelievably long,without my laptop working...I feel so freaking lost not being able to fully do my online Web Diva&Thick Dream Productions business like I need to.
I have had some downtime to reflect on my life and my business. I have decided to go back to the basics,what got me here. I am done with the castings,not going to accept Co Stars other than my man,bf,boo,sweetie,spouse,aka my partner. Not saying that I will not collaborate with fellow adult entertainment industry folks. I am use to doing my scenes with my man/partner who is not in the business,he helps me because he wants to.
I know that my associates are looking at me sideways because of some things that I stated on twitter.com/atl_thickdream this week. I cannot apologize for what I said because I can only do what works for me. I meant what I said when I stated that I am doing what everyone else is doing simply because its whats"in". I did not get into the adult entertainment industry nor did I become an entertainer for the awards,cliches, and groupies. I do my entertaining because its my passion, I love to entertain. I love to produce erotica, and I love creating erotic compositions.
The downside of the industry is its one sided, the women in the business do not usually have a happy ended. Those who decide to fallback and focus on their career or are unable to go in it as deep, are not always respected by their peers. Hence,why my circle of associates is small. I am thankful to have their input on some issues that have came across my desk this year. I appreciate my industry folk and my friends who are in the "Lifestyle", without them I think I would have went batty trying to figure some shit out.
I now know that I need someone in my life and on my team who is truly supportive of my decisions. From my choice to entertain or my choice to complete my degree. He must support the lifestyle that comes with it. That is very important.
I also found out that being poly-amorous does not work for me. Although I have been honest with all parties involved, it is not going to work at all for me. Guy does not like sharing me with my Co Stars,so I know he does not enjoy sharing me with anyone else. Me being too honest about what I do,is not enough for them. Lord knows what they do on their time away from me, do I care? Yes and no, but I cannot get caught up in all that. My belief, if it does not affect me directly, its not my concern. I keep my partners safe when I play,especially when I produce a scene....that is all that should matter,period.
This is not a shocker,but I want a REAL relationship. I miss having that man of my own. After being married over a decade, yes one can get use to that....he did spoil me to a certain extent, hell, I miss that.
I do not plan on conforming for my next partner. I am too old for that shit, I will adjust my business and life to allow him into it. Most women will not do that, my girlfriends say"girl,you do too much". The thing is, they are not in the entertainment business. And their previous sex life is not plastered on the world wide web. So, unfortunately I have to do things slightly differently when dating and dealing with my guy. Sometimes I tolerate certain situations than they would allow, then in other situations I walk away from not giving it a second thought because I am not stressed about it..."another will soon come to replace them"...my thoughts.
The only difference this time around is, I am not going to accept anyone without his own...meaning his own car,place,goals,and a job. Those few things are not too much to ask,I think they are important requirements since I have them all and I raise a family with minimal support. A man with his own, is a all true man. I want him to have his own hobbies,friends, and life outside of me and mine. I will support whatever his goals are, and I certainly will appreciate the help he gives me in my business. He does not have to be in a scene with me, that is his choice. It will be a mutual decision whether I do scenes with other people or not. I am willing to do softcore or erotica featuring myself and/or other women associates. Eventually, I will be paying models to do the scenes I won't or cannot do. He must understand that is a process though.
I am listening to "Hood Love" by Mary J Blige, my eyes are watery thinking about the real moments I have survived,yet it never stopped me from loving again. I know right, I can't figure it out. After being lied to, cursed out, cheated on, threatened...I still have it in me to open my shell to that emotion-LOVE. I do not fall as deep as I use to, I am learning to back off easier when I see that person isn't deserving of me.
I'd be a liar and a half if I said I am cool with my status, I am not at all. I do not know why I am being silly...could be the change in temperature, since I am use to having that bed buddy. Or it could be that the holidays are approaching...we usually do it big during the holidays or we struggle together-and do nothing at all...whatever the situation was, I was there loving and doing what was required of me....dammit, I miss that.
Yes, I could have any kind of man I want, but it would only be temporary if he cannot fulfill all of my needs-sexually,mentally, and able to give me the time I ask....I would have to piece him together with another...i.e-the poly-amorous situation. If the sex is good,but our conversation sucks....not good. Or our conversation is great,but the sex is awful...not good either. It has to be equal in every aspect to keep me diehard for him. And no, he can't just sex me....talk to me and not spend quality time with me,really not good. He would have to make time for me...or forget about me.
www.twitter.com/atl_thickdream
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Dear Diary Saturday,Oct15 (BLAH MOOD)
Dear Diary:
Its Sweetest Day, I am getting ready to go out on the town this evening. I want to stay in with my teddy bear, in my Target cotton PJ's, eyes glued to my Samsung HDTV.
I feel sexy, I am happy, but I am missing a small part of me. A part of me is floating somewhere in the far beyond and it does not want to come back...lol...probably dreading this evening out.
I am going to be in a room full of people, yet all I want is to be held close and kissed gently upon my neck. Nothing major, just that simple. A warm embrace, on a chilly fall night....priceless.
I am so spoiled by my fans and admirers, I should be whole...not even close. Pieces of me are missing....some parts I have given away....never to be returned.....and the rest wore off by improper "use",so they are out for repair...lol...those parts are on backorder.
A close friend of mine offered himself to me,I am undecided if I should take him up on his offer. He does not want a sexxxy display. He just wants to listen to me, and help where he can. He means well, but I do not want to cross into uncharted waters with him. Emotions will take you to places, you do not want to go or need to go with certain people.
His hugs are innocent, and the tears that we share are genuine. We have had some of the same struggles, so I do not make a big deal out of seeing a man cry.
The more I think about it, the more I am leaning to staying home....he just called and invited me over....he joked about spooning while watching DVDs tonight...and he will provide the Kleenex.
Ok,off goes the stiletto's and the MAC make up...I am spending time with my friend tonight, my EVO will get turned off soon....as I unwind and distress from all the extra bullshit that has been coming at me. Those people who said they loved or wanted to marry me, and cannot stop thinking about me....will not be thought of or brought up during this true friend time....nothing sexual will occur, which makes this really special. And yes,he has seen me naked....but we are grown,so shit like that does not matter.
At the moment, I am freakin teary eyed,so wild that a woman like me has spent time with various types of people finds simplicity in a quiet evening barefoot close to a platonic friend. Men in my life are either unappreciative of my realness or unqualified to provide such emotional support to me,so why try to get something out of an incompetent source. And the ones who are all that and then some, are not available completely to me....and that totally sucks ass.
I have to keep this writing short and brief,enough of myself has been divulged....oh well,eat it up...you evil forces that love to see my downs and want to know about my everything including,my pains.
Enjoy your Sweetest Day,hopefully it is spent with a real friend.
~Dream~
Its Sweetest Day, I am getting ready to go out on the town this evening. I want to stay in with my teddy bear, in my Target cotton PJ's, eyes glued to my Samsung HDTV.
I feel sexy, I am happy, but I am missing a small part of me. A part of me is floating somewhere in the far beyond and it does not want to come back...lol...probably dreading this evening out.
I am going to be in a room full of people, yet all I want is to be held close and kissed gently upon my neck. Nothing major, just that simple. A warm embrace, on a chilly fall night....priceless.
I am so spoiled by my fans and admirers, I should be whole...not even close. Pieces of me are missing....some parts I have given away....never to be returned.....and the rest wore off by improper "use",so they are out for repair...lol...those parts are on backorder.
A close friend of mine offered himself to me,I am undecided if I should take him up on his offer. He does not want a sexxxy display. He just wants to listen to me, and help where he can. He means well, but I do not want to cross into uncharted waters with him. Emotions will take you to places, you do not want to go or need to go with certain people.
His hugs are innocent, and the tears that we share are genuine. We have had some of the same struggles, so I do not make a big deal out of seeing a man cry.
The more I think about it, the more I am leaning to staying home....he just called and invited me over....he joked about spooning while watching DVDs tonight...and he will provide the Kleenex.
Ok,off goes the stiletto's and the MAC make up...I am spending time with my friend tonight, my EVO will get turned off soon....as I unwind and distress from all the extra bullshit that has been coming at me. Those people who said they loved or wanted to marry me, and cannot stop thinking about me....will not be thought of or brought up during this true friend time....nothing sexual will occur, which makes this really special. And yes,he has seen me naked....but we are grown,so shit like that does not matter.
At the moment, I am freakin teary eyed,so wild that a woman like me has spent time with various types of people finds simplicity in a quiet evening barefoot close to a platonic friend. Men in my life are either unappreciative of my realness or unqualified to provide such emotional support to me,so why try to get something out of an incompetent source. And the ones who are all that and then some, are not available completely to me....and that totally sucks ass.
I have to keep this writing short and brief,enough of myself has been divulged....oh well,eat it up...you evil forces that love to see my downs and want to know about my everything including,my pains.
Enjoy your Sweetest Day,hopefully it is spent with a real friend.
~Dream~
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Dear Diary Its Msatlantathickdream.com Anniversary2day
Dear Diary:
Happy Anniversary to ME,my website is ONE year old today!! I am excited,but I do have mixed emotions about this day. Over a year, I've had some setbacks and success. I want to go out tonight and celebrate regardless,but damn with who? Who is deserving to spend my anniversary with...decisions,decisions.
I plan to give some hellafied headservice to one deserving man tonight. I plan to suck the moles off his dick,lol...or come close to it.
This blowjob will be fully involved. I have some stress to release tonight, what a better way...giving some super bomb ass head to a unsuspecting man.
I know he will be murmuring his "confessions"...his feelings for me, I am sure of it. I promise it will not go to my head. Guys say some wild shit,most they do not mean when they are receiving my headservice.
I will make sure we do something like have dinner or run an errand together first before I suck the life out of him. Because once I give him head, he will be ready to fuck the shit out of me and rest some for another round, then crash to sleep.
I want to rub his head while we watch TV together. I am so relaxed when his head resting on my breast. My feet propped on his lap, him massaging my pedicured toes, we both unwinding after a long day. Damn, I can get use to that. Been awhile since I played "house".
I am undecided what all I want to do later, but I know my creative junkyard of a brain will come up with something.
~Dream~
Happy Anniversary to ME,my website is ONE year old today!! I am excited,but I do have mixed emotions about this day. Over a year, I've had some setbacks and success. I want to go out tonight and celebrate regardless,but damn with who? Who is deserving to spend my anniversary with...decisions,decisions.
I plan to give some hellafied headservice to one deserving man tonight. I plan to suck the moles off his dick,lol...or come close to it.
This blowjob will be fully involved. I have some stress to release tonight, what a better way...giving some super bomb ass head to a unsuspecting man.
I know he will be murmuring his "confessions"...his feelings for me, I am sure of it. I promise it will not go to my head. Guys say some wild shit,most they do not mean when they are receiving my headservice.
I will make sure we do something like have dinner or run an errand together first before I suck the life out of him. Because once I give him head, he will be ready to fuck the shit out of me and rest some for another round, then crash to sleep.
I want to rub his head while we watch TV together. I am so relaxed when his head resting on my breast. My feet propped on his lap, him massaging my pedicured toes, we both unwinding after a long day. Damn, I can get use to that. Been awhile since I played "house".
I am undecided what all I want to do later, but I know my creative junkyard of a brain will come up with something.
~Dream~
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Dear Diary Oct2"Spontaneous Despicable Me"
Dear Diary:
What a cold morning it is in Atlanta. My nipples are hard, as I stir my pancake batter. My cup of green tea is chilling next to me.
I am so happy for another productive week. The new fuck scene with Mr.Smooth turned out good, it was time I made a sex scene, the fans were asking for it.
I shared the footage with my sweetie first before posting it. I had to get his opinion on the scene, and make sure he was truly cool with it. Because this is a first time ever having someone who say they are cool with having a lover who is in the adult entertainment industry, so I had to double check, to make sure he is okay about some stuff. I have made some mistakes in my past, and I like to take caution. I do not want to inadvertently hurt him or repulse him, but so far my goodness it has not happened. He is pretty open minded. I was shocked that he "approved" and critiqued the scene so well. He played really cool while viewing it,but in the back of my mind I could not help but think "he is going to choke the shit out of me" and "when is he going to go off on me".
That did not happen, he was actually turned on....hell, we were both turned on. In the front seat of my truck, no panties on, my stiletto heels I took off....got out the driver side and I went over to the passenger side to sit on his lap. There was something nice and hard I wanted to sit on. He started it, lol, taking his dick out...bet he thought all I was going to do was suck it,lol...nah....I had to sit on that sexy meat. He didn't think we both could fit in the seat, oh...trust me, I was going to make this happen. Slid up my dress, bent over slightly, and he put it in my warm wetness. OMG,it felt so good. What made it so fucking great?? It was the location, we were in a public parking lot, off to the side. A small group of joggers saw us, but I am sure they did not know what we were doing. He was scared, I wasn't...it turned me on even more, I kept talking&riding "they are not coming back around...they did not see nothing baby". Talking and bouncing on his dick, got my pussy wetter. LOL,I was sooo bad...he liked it. I wanted to roll down the window and yell out, "look at me...weeeehee...I am riding this dick....look at me...weeeehee...I am taking HIS dick". LOL!!!
My neck was bent in the corner of the dashboard, I had some whiplash action going on-when I got home, and my thighs were sore...I didn't care, the sex was excellent. The orgasms I had were like fireworks. The feeling I got right before he climaxed, had me holding back my tears. The heat of his swollen penis against my walls, so incredible. His hands gripping my ass and hips...holding on for dear life....holding my love handles, he says"I am about to cum,where do you want me to put it". My rapid response,while riding him"keep going, don't stop,don't stop...keep it in...keep it innnn". He cums,denies my request to cum in me. I was not surprised he chickened out, slightly disappointed though...lately he has been asking to release himself in me, and I pulled his card...he punked out,lol.
I gave him a few juicy kisses for the drive home, what an outstanding performance. Our first spontaneous encounter with each other, what a fucking rush we had. The energy was amazing, I had to pull over on my drive home, as I replayed the events of my day leading up to that, my head started to spin horribly....euphoria....topped with the feeling of being caught....and the man who was behind the dick down....so much to take in, I almost overloaded.
Wow,the sex I had on camera could not top what I got in the front seat of my truck. I could not compare the two,totally different people,situation,body type,etc. etc. I cannot wait to share with the world how he(my sweetie) and I get it on. I am not in a rush. LOL,because I know my fans,friends,some family...who knows...will be viewing and I fear that I get too bitchass and cry during the scene since it will be unscripted. I am sure it will be good footage,and go on my list of top best sex and favorite scenes ever. He seems to be making all of my first and top of everything lately....crossing my fingers,hope that does not change anytime soon.
I am off to enjoy some time with family from out of town, dreading to share what I have been up to,its always more than what I care to divulge.
~Dream~
What a cold morning it is in Atlanta. My nipples are hard, as I stir my pancake batter. My cup of green tea is chilling next to me.
I am so happy for another productive week. The new fuck scene with Mr.Smooth turned out good, it was time I made a sex scene, the fans were asking for it.
I shared the footage with my sweetie first before posting it. I had to get his opinion on the scene, and make sure he was truly cool with it. Because this is a first time ever having someone who say they are cool with having a lover who is in the adult entertainment industry, so I had to double check, to make sure he is okay about some stuff. I have made some mistakes in my past, and I like to take caution. I do not want to inadvertently hurt him or repulse him, but so far my goodness it has not happened. He is pretty open minded. I was shocked that he "approved" and critiqued the scene so well. He played really cool while viewing it,but in the back of my mind I could not help but think "he is going to choke the shit out of me" and "when is he going to go off on me".
That did not happen, he was actually turned on....hell, we were both turned on. In the front seat of my truck, no panties on, my stiletto heels I took off....got out the driver side and I went over to the passenger side to sit on his lap. There was something nice and hard I wanted to sit on. He started it, lol, taking his dick out...bet he thought all I was going to do was suck it,lol...nah....I had to sit on that sexy meat. He didn't think we both could fit in the seat, oh...trust me, I was going to make this happen. Slid up my dress, bent over slightly, and he put it in my warm wetness. OMG,it felt so good. What made it so fucking great?? It was the location, we were in a public parking lot, off to the side. A small group of joggers saw us, but I am sure they did not know what we were doing. He was scared, I wasn't...it turned me on even more, I kept talking&riding "they are not coming back around...they did not see nothing baby". Talking and bouncing on his dick, got my pussy wetter. LOL,I was sooo bad...he liked it. I wanted to roll down the window and yell out, "look at me...weeeehee...I am riding this dick....look at me...weeeehee...I am taking HIS dick". LOL!!!
My neck was bent in the corner of the dashboard, I had some whiplash action going on-when I got home, and my thighs were sore...I didn't care, the sex was excellent. The orgasms I had were like fireworks. The feeling I got right before he climaxed, had me holding back my tears. The heat of his swollen penis against my walls, so incredible. His hands gripping my ass and hips...holding on for dear life....holding my love handles, he says"I am about to cum,where do you want me to put it". My rapid response,while riding him"keep going, don't stop,don't stop...keep it in...keep it innnn". He cums,denies my request to cum in me. I was not surprised he chickened out, slightly disappointed though...lately he has been asking to release himself in me, and I pulled his card...he punked out,lol.
I gave him a few juicy kisses for the drive home, what an outstanding performance. Our first spontaneous encounter with each other, what a fucking rush we had. The energy was amazing, I had to pull over on my drive home, as I replayed the events of my day leading up to that, my head started to spin horribly....euphoria....topped with the feeling of being caught....and the man who was behind the dick down....so much to take in, I almost overloaded.
Wow,the sex I had on camera could not top what I got in the front seat of my truck. I could not compare the two,totally different people,situation,body type,etc. etc. I cannot wait to share with the world how he(my sweetie) and I get it on. I am not in a rush. LOL,because I know my fans,friends,some family...who knows...will be viewing and I fear that I get too bitchass and cry during the scene since it will be unscripted. I am sure it will be good footage,and go on my list of top best sex and favorite scenes ever. He seems to be making all of my first and top of everything lately....crossing my fingers,hope that does not change anytime soon.
I am off to enjoy some time with family from out of town, dreading to share what I have been up to,its always more than what I care to divulge.
~Dream~
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Dear Diary,Layers of Thoughts,Sept25
Dear Diary:
After last night,he left me with these things in my head. He put the fucking smackdown on my ass,going on my list of best sexual experiences ever. Yes,it was that great. I want to tell a friend,but instead I will share what is in my head right now with the following random poem:
I miss you when you are not here
I long to have you near
I can still hear your voice whispering softly,affluently in my ear
So much unlike the other brothers
You are more than just a lover
Always focusing on my pleasure
Its all about me
When you are slow stroking or
Tongue kissing my pussy
Deep in me
Your dick continues to grow
You tell me how good it feels
When my juices overflow onto it
Pussy contracting
We look at each others facial expressions
My smile is soft and Angelic
Your face is hard and attentive
Seeing beyond the human eye
The things you see are
Confirmation you are hittin it right
What an unbelievable moment in time
When our mind and bodies are intertwined
Your energy is one of a kind
Nothing could interrupt
Such passion
I anticipate our public displays of affection
From a sloppy kiss to your head firmly pressed
Underneath my dress
Both of our heads
Moving in a circular motion
This energy, my dear lover, is so potent
The Goddess Aphrodite
Must have slipped us some potion
Sprinkled down from the heavens
An exotic mixture of
Condensed lust
We are each others supplement
We both are nutrients
Not one day can pass
Without my lover and friend
Hours spent often consumed in thought of one another
When too much time has passed
The deficiency that was created
Makes us so cranky
Because we miss each other so much
And are ever so horny
Stricken with lust
We often share our desire to fuck
When that's impossible
We settle for stimulating conversation
and goo-goo eyes over lunch
Maybe its just a hunch
I believe, you have some hidden feelings for me
Buried under the selfless pleasure you bestowed upon me
Its in your eyes, its in your touch
So your lips,no need to speak
A denial or confession to me
For you to profess your truly feelings for me
Is not what I seek
I love whatever it is we have
I absolutely adore everything about you
I enjoy missing you
I appreciate the space and privacy
And the attention that you give to me
The more I get of you
Makes it harder for those who may follow you
Keeping a woman like me entirely happy
Its difficult,for some
Yet simple for you
But please, do not get mad when I slip and say"I love you"
I guess, some parts of me have fallen for you
Trust, I have not fallen completely
I look down, all I see is thorns at the bottom of this cliff
I will not take that leap, my love for you has limits
This is why you resist to give into it
I understand now
I do not blame you baby, you're right
Its scary and dangerous
The exceptional sex
Intellectual conversation
Positive energy
Powerful lust
Dammit man, what are we going to do
I fucking want to melt this very moment,thinking of you
I can feel the texture of your dick on my tongue
I want to swallow you every single time you cum
Vividly, I hear you slurping at my pussy
But without the straw
Hell nah, baby....I gota stop this shit, writing these things that I will never say face to face
For tomorrow may or may not come
If it does, I do not want to look dumb
For saying too much
Caught up in the lust
Without any regrets
What's done is done
'Til the next cycle of you
Kisses to you my Boo,
~Dream~
After last night,he left me with these things in my head. He put the fucking smackdown on my ass,going on my list of best sexual experiences ever. Yes,it was that great. I want to tell a friend,but instead I will share what is in my head right now with the following random poem:
I miss you when you are not here
I long to have you near
I can still hear your voice whispering softly,affluently in my ear
So much unlike the other brothers
You are more than just a lover
Always focusing on my pleasure
Its all about me
When you are slow stroking or
Tongue kissing my pussy
Deep in me
Your dick continues to grow
You tell me how good it feels
When my juices overflow onto it
Pussy contracting
We look at each others facial expressions
My smile is soft and Angelic
Your face is hard and attentive
Seeing beyond the human eye
The things you see are
Confirmation you are hittin it right
What an unbelievable moment in time
When our mind and bodies are intertwined
Your energy is one of a kind
Nothing could interrupt
Such passion
I anticipate our public displays of affection
From a sloppy kiss to your head firmly pressed
Underneath my dress
Both of our heads
Moving in a circular motion
This energy, my dear lover, is so potent
The Goddess Aphrodite
Must have slipped us some potion
Sprinkled down from the heavens
An exotic mixture of
Condensed lust
We are each others supplement
We both are nutrients
Not one day can pass
Without my lover and friend
Hours spent often consumed in thought of one another
When too much time has passed
The deficiency that was created
Makes us so cranky
Because we miss each other so much
And are ever so horny
Stricken with lust
We often share our desire to fuck
When that's impossible
We settle for stimulating conversation
and goo-goo eyes over lunch
Maybe its just a hunch
I believe, you have some hidden feelings for me
Buried under the selfless pleasure you bestowed upon me
Its in your eyes, its in your touch
So your lips,no need to speak
A denial or confession to me
For you to profess your truly feelings for me
Is not what I seek
I love whatever it is we have
I absolutely adore everything about you
I enjoy missing you
I appreciate the space and privacy
And the attention that you give to me
The more I get of you
Makes it harder for those who may follow you
Keeping a woman like me entirely happy
Its difficult,for some
Yet simple for you
But please, do not get mad when I slip and say"I love you"
I guess, some parts of me have fallen for you
Trust, I have not fallen completely
I look down, all I see is thorns at the bottom of this cliff
I will not take that leap, my love for you has limits
This is why you resist to give into it
I understand now
I do not blame you baby, you're right
Its scary and dangerous
The exceptional sex
Intellectual conversation
Positive energy
Powerful lust
Dammit man, what are we going to do
I fucking want to melt this very moment,thinking of you
I can feel the texture of your dick on my tongue
I want to swallow you every single time you cum
Vividly, I hear you slurping at my pussy
But without the straw
Hell nah, baby....I gota stop this shit, writing these things that I will never say face to face
For tomorrow may or may not come
If it does, I do not want to look dumb
For saying too much
Caught up in the lust
Without any regrets
What's done is done
'Til the next cycle of you
Kisses to you my Boo,
~Dream~
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Dear Diary-A Dream of A Dream Sept22
Dear Diary:
I woke up well rested after sleeping like a rock. My eyes are swollen like a Henson muppet from my face being plastered onto my mattress.
While I am boiling my water for my morning hot liquid fix, thought I might as well crack you open and release some words onto this page.
Hell, I am just recuperating from a nice and fun weekend spent with friends. It started off kinda wild, but had a fairly good ending.
Early Saturday morning I kept having this recurring dream, I would get up and go pee, and the dream would start right where I left. That rarely happens to me.
In the dream, I was in my newly purchased home sexing in front of the refrigerator. The kitchen was dark,the light from the inside of the frig was the only light in the entire room. We were going at it hard, pulling out items from the frig, and smashing them on our bodies during this freaky fuck session.
Then the dream flashes forward, he and I are driving in the country. We are nestled under the steering wheel, on the open country road. The looks that we give each other, are long and deep. The kisses we exchange are full of definition. We wind up at the county fair, we were happy like children with a major crush, holding hand in hand. I almost felt the need to skip like a school gal filled with glee, but this super machismo man made me keep my composure. So, I walked gracefully, like a Nubian Princess ready to be betrothed. We did not want the day to end.
As we leave the fair, we stopped to enjoy the fall scenery. We paid close attention to the couples, families, and single people moving about like insects. He and I get a kick out of studying people, a freaky fascination. We stayed until the last person left the fair.
We start to kiss and touch, he had me pierced against the tailgate of his truck. He stood behind me, biting on my neck. One hand he had around my waist, the other hand was around my neck firmly but slowly pulling my hair. I had to hold on tight to the rear of the truck, I wanted to collapse to the ground from pleasure. Instead, I stood strong and took what he was giving me.
Although, my over 62 inch ass is a task for most to enter me from behind while standing, he entered me flawlessly. His dick was like cast iron, his length went well beyond his navel, this also made insertion easy. Coitus was slow and deep, each stroke felt like a slow motion punch, but never missing the mark. His dick tickled my cervix, making me bend over slightly, but only to have him bend me upright and fuck me even deeper.
At this point, my pillow is wet from the dream and my pussy is throbbing, moist from nocturnal emissions.
We were almost at climax when I noticed that we were being watched by the caretaker of the fairgrounds. He and I did not speak, although we were startled we did not gasp. We paused to see the reaction of the caretaker. He gave us this look, and a nod to keep going. The caretaker wanted to see us finish our sensual vernissage. And we did just that, gave him the best exhibition he ever saw. The sex was more exciting being watched by this stranger, and a lot more aggressive. I would say an occasional "fuck yeah" and all he kept saying"hell yeah,this is exactly how Daddy wants it,give it to me baby,give it all to me".
I was waiting for the caretaker to whip his dick out and start jerking it, but he just stood there with a smirk on his face. No erection peeping through his trousers, he had to be impotent. Because the fucking we did would make most homo sapiens and extraterrestrials horny. As we were about to cum, the caretaker came closer, we did not stop, we kept going at it. My lover, explodes his hot cum into my pussy, allowing it to run down my thick juicy thighs. He steps back to watch it trickle downward, and the caretaker comes toward me, kneels down and licks me from behind. My honey, is equally awed, he plants the most juicy, all tongue kiss, in my mouth. The caretaker is still licking our hot cum from behind, he goes up higher to my ass and sticks his tongue in there. We are so aroused by this, and could not stop kissing. He allows the caretaker to fuck my ass with his tongue. I cum multiple times from the over stimulation, my thighs are shaking, but the caretaker firmly holds my thighs still while he damned near sucks the shit out my asshole.
I could not take anymore, so i held out my hand, reaching for the caretaker's dick. He gave it to me, I stroked his dick while kissing my lover. The caretaker finger was in my butt, and my honey fingers were in my pussy.
I had to make myself wake up from this wild ass dream, it was killing me how horny I was. And slightly pissed awaking to nothing but my pink teddy bear, and not one man laying next me.
Half sleep I start to text my dream, I told him as much detail as I could before breaking down to call. He picked up, voice deeper than usual,so I know I interrupted his sleep. He did not mind, nor did I apologize. He loves to hear my stories.
I wind up dashing out the house, showered and hair combed within 30 minutes, I am at his house and ringing his door bell. We sit to watch TV,and he was talking about his work week. I told him,"i don't mean to be rude,but can we speed this up,can I push fast forward please". He agreed, and knew what was up. I reached in my pocket, threw down a handful of non latex condoms and lube on his end table. We rapidly undressed. I watched him masturbate for a couple minutes before placing the condom on his light brown speckled dick. He looked like a helpless child, his hands held out in the crucifixion position. I crouched into his lap,we both looked down, as I put his penis inside of my pussy. Oh my,my,my pussy was so tight,juices flowing milky white, the feeling when he broke the seal was indescribable. I rode him like a fucking champion, my left leg bent out to the side,the right leg bent underneath him. Bouncing on that dick like a trampoline. Tits swinging, and my smile bright as a jubilee. I popped my ass up and down on that dick, like I was performing. He thought he was dreaming, hell, I could not believe the energy I had. I felt ecstatic, unfucking stoppable.
He pulled me back to ask,"Dream,why are we fucking like this,after all the things that were said and its been so damned long". I said,"i had to revoke your pussy passport,to prove a point,teach you how not to fuck me over again,and why ask why,you know this has always been my dick,now do not EVER give my shit away again,and SHUT UP and let me continue to fuck the SHIT out of YOU!". And that he did,he did not murmur a word til he had an orgasm "oh DREAM,AHHAAAA,Dream,this pussy is so FUCKING good,OOHHWEE Dream,uuughh". I climbed off his dick slowly, I did not orgasm with him, no need I had my fulfillment mentally, way better than any orgasm.
As I dressed, he asked"are u coming back to fuck me later on, can I give you a key to my place,will you come back". My ego is fed, why would I need to come back, i thought to myself. I replied,"sure,i will come back later". Of course you know, I fed the beast one last time before cutting him off again.
Well, my caffeine fix has kicked in and I am slowly but surely coming down,til my next freaky composition.
~Dream~
I woke up well rested after sleeping like a rock. My eyes are swollen like a Henson muppet from my face being plastered onto my mattress.
While I am boiling my water for my morning hot liquid fix, thought I might as well crack you open and release some words onto this page.
Hell, I am just recuperating from a nice and fun weekend spent with friends. It started off kinda wild, but had a fairly good ending.
Early Saturday morning I kept having this recurring dream, I would get up and go pee, and the dream would start right where I left. That rarely happens to me.
In the dream, I was in my newly purchased home sexing in front of the refrigerator. The kitchen was dark,the light from the inside of the frig was the only light in the entire room. We were going at it hard, pulling out items from the frig, and smashing them on our bodies during this freaky fuck session.
Then the dream flashes forward, he and I are driving in the country. We are nestled under the steering wheel, on the open country road. The looks that we give each other, are long and deep. The kisses we exchange are full of definition. We wind up at the county fair, we were happy like children with a major crush, holding hand in hand. I almost felt the need to skip like a school gal filled with glee, but this super machismo man made me keep my composure. So, I walked gracefully, like a Nubian Princess ready to be betrothed. We did not want the day to end.
As we leave the fair, we stopped to enjoy the fall scenery. We paid close attention to the couples, families, and single people moving about like insects. He and I get a kick out of studying people, a freaky fascination. We stayed until the last person left the fair.
We start to kiss and touch, he had me pierced against the tailgate of his truck. He stood behind me, biting on my neck. One hand he had around my waist, the other hand was around my neck firmly but slowly pulling my hair. I had to hold on tight to the rear of the truck, I wanted to collapse to the ground from pleasure. Instead, I stood strong and took what he was giving me.
Although, my over 62 inch ass is a task for most to enter me from behind while standing, he entered me flawlessly. His dick was like cast iron, his length went well beyond his navel, this also made insertion easy. Coitus was slow and deep, each stroke felt like a slow motion punch, but never missing the mark. His dick tickled my cervix, making me bend over slightly, but only to have him bend me upright and fuck me even deeper.
At this point, my pillow is wet from the dream and my pussy is throbbing, moist from nocturnal emissions.
We were almost at climax when I noticed that we were being watched by the caretaker of the fairgrounds. He and I did not speak, although we were startled we did not gasp. We paused to see the reaction of the caretaker. He gave us this look, and a nod to keep going. The caretaker wanted to see us finish our sensual vernissage. And we did just that, gave him the best exhibition he ever saw. The sex was more exciting being watched by this stranger, and a lot more aggressive. I would say an occasional "fuck yeah" and all he kept saying"hell yeah,this is exactly how Daddy wants it,give it to me baby,give it all to me".
I was waiting for the caretaker to whip his dick out and start jerking it, but he just stood there with a smirk on his face. No erection peeping through his trousers, he had to be impotent. Because the fucking we did would make most homo sapiens and extraterrestrials horny. As we were about to cum, the caretaker came closer, we did not stop, we kept going at it. My lover, explodes his hot cum into my pussy, allowing it to run down my thick juicy thighs. He steps back to watch it trickle downward, and the caretaker comes toward me, kneels down and licks me from behind. My honey, is equally awed, he plants the most juicy, all tongue kiss, in my mouth. The caretaker is still licking our hot cum from behind, he goes up higher to my ass and sticks his tongue in there. We are so aroused by this, and could not stop kissing. He allows the caretaker to fuck my ass with his tongue. I cum multiple times from the over stimulation, my thighs are shaking, but the caretaker firmly holds my thighs still while he damned near sucks the shit out my asshole.
I could not take anymore, so i held out my hand, reaching for the caretaker's dick. He gave it to me, I stroked his dick while kissing my lover. The caretaker finger was in my butt, and my honey fingers were in my pussy.
I had to make myself wake up from this wild ass dream, it was killing me how horny I was. And slightly pissed awaking to nothing but my pink teddy bear, and not one man laying next me.
Half sleep I start to text my dream, I told him as much detail as I could before breaking down to call. He picked up, voice deeper than usual,so I know I interrupted his sleep. He did not mind, nor did I apologize. He loves to hear my stories.
I wind up dashing out the house, showered and hair combed within 30 minutes, I am at his house and ringing his door bell. We sit to watch TV,and he was talking about his work week. I told him,"i don't mean to be rude,but can we speed this up,can I push fast forward please". He agreed, and knew what was up. I reached in my pocket, threw down a handful of non latex condoms and lube on his end table. We rapidly undressed. I watched him masturbate for a couple minutes before placing the condom on his light brown speckled dick. He looked like a helpless child, his hands held out in the crucifixion position. I crouched into his lap,we both looked down, as I put his penis inside of my pussy. Oh my,my,my pussy was so tight,juices flowing milky white, the feeling when he broke the seal was indescribable. I rode him like a fucking champion, my left leg bent out to the side,the right leg bent underneath him. Bouncing on that dick like a trampoline. Tits swinging, and my smile bright as a jubilee. I popped my ass up and down on that dick, like I was performing. He thought he was dreaming, hell, I could not believe the energy I had. I felt ecstatic, unfucking stoppable.
He pulled me back to ask,"Dream,why are we fucking like this,after all the things that were said and its been so damned long". I said,"i had to revoke your pussy passport,to prove a point,teach you how not to fuck me over again,and why ask why,you know this has always been my dick,now do not EVER give my shit away again,and SHUT UP and let me continue to fuck the SHIT out of YOU!". And that he did,he did not murmur a word til he had an orgasm "oh DREAM,AHHAAAA,Dream,this pussy is so FUCKING good,OOHHWEE Dream,uuughh". I climbed off his dick slowly, I did not orgasm with him, no need I had my fulfillment mentally, way better than any orgasm.
As I dressed, he asked"are u coming back to fuck me later on, can I give you a key to my place,will you come back". My ego is fed, why would I need to come back, i thought to myself. I replied,"sure,i will come back later". Of course you know, I fed the beast one last time before cutting him off again.
Well, my caffeine fix has kicked in and I am slowly but surely coming down,til my next freaky composition.
~Dream~
Monday, September 12, 2011
Dear Diary Sept12,Let the Randomness Begin
Dear Diary:
I have been up since 4am, woke up from this totally weird dream. Had to do with money and a man, I tell you those are always on mind. For some odd reason, I just cannot shake the thoughts of this one individual, as much as I want to, and probably need to. I cannot stop thinking about them.
I probably dreamed of money because I could always use some extra,lol, like the person on my mind. I could use a little bit more of them.
I fell asleep after watching an HBO porn documentary, I learned a lot by hearing the views of the industry from seasoned entertainers. I agreed with Heather Hunter when she said it was so much easier dealing with people in the industry, and she is right...its harder dealing with people in the "real world".
I am sure she has had the same struggles I deal with in my personal life. You can conjur up any kind of man...from his height to the size of his penis, but more than likely he is a fan or despise what you do and tries to change you.
People have no clue how difficult it is to try to have a somewhat normal sex life after doing any kind of porn, whether its at home amateur porn or mainstream, the results are pretty much the same.
Men think that I have so much sex, and that I am this sex kitten. LOL, I mean I do love sex and it can be slightly addictive;however, I am selective with whom I play with personally. To be honest, I usually do not have sex no more than twice per month. Sometimes, it can be less if I am holding out based on principle, I am so big on that its not funny.
What's crazy the men I have dealt with personally are more kinkier than myself...lol. A couple have totally got me twisted, suggested things from threesomes to introducing them into the industry also,making our debut into mainstream. IF, I was to have a 3 some with my man/boyfriend/partner/lover it would not be with a girlfriend of mine, it would be with a neutral party or hell, one of his buds. I would never share my man with a girlfriend of mine, sorry guy. Even though I have shared portions of my sex life, I do believe some things are sacred, and that is my primary meat or man.
Which is why I often try to protect him or I try to be as open as I can with what I "do"with my mate. Because its so many myths about women who entertain, I want my partner to be at ease with my chosen path. Often I work too hard at being trusted, when in reality its the other person who should be working on gaining my trust. My past and present is on display, so I am not the random person.
I know its enticing to see a confident women who is curvy and provocative do her thing. Men love it, and yes, we eat up the attention. BUT,its a blessing and a curse. I am a big girl, who can handle the men coming at me in every direction. I confess, I have indulged in a groupie or a few. I have always kept it real with whomever I am seeing, and yet still they cannot be real with me. Why is that??
Over the weekend I listened to my homegirls and their grief with men and horror stories,shit theirs are almost the same as mine, but they are not in the industry. So, tell me what is really going on??
What is with these men, expecting you to bend over backwards and put your pointer finger on your nose. That is too much. I understand the ratio is high, there are a lot of women out here to chose from and to play with. I get that, but most do not want the freaky chick as their primary woman. Nope, most want that woman who is not as sexually experienced or if she is, its from the things you and her have done. These men still wind up having that dip on the side. Because they are not pleased entirely, they need to be filled completely or just fucking greedy. That is why porn is not going anywhere, nor the strip clubs or the entire sex business as a whole. We are sexual beings, and in this society we cannot express ourselves freely without some kind of ridicule. (If a man had it his way,he would choose the woman he can take to worship and to the strip club.) Hate to say, but this is one of the reasons why people are unfaithful...just my opinion.
And its so cool be sexually expressive in my book, but practice safe sex...and keep it real with whom you are sharing your body with on a regular basis. From the beginning coming into the situation get tested, show your results,this is not pillow talk after the condom has broken or you got caught up in the pussy and took the condom off. Yes, its hard to believe that men still take off the rubber with HIV and antibiotic resistant STD's on a major rise.
We as adults must respect sex, from the women and men who chose to do this for a living to those who live an alternative lifestyle. Respect must be there, give it as much as you want it.
LMFAO,at the guy who I made a date night with and canceled because he asked me on the ride over was I going to suck his dick. I do not know why he asked prior to the act, but that was a big mistake. I said yes until he mentioned that he was not going to return the favor. I told him,lol,how are you going to ask me that and not expect to have that required of you. I explained that I am fully tested recently, and offered to show him the results...I was real,yet joking because when he said he was not eating my pussy, there was no way I was fucking him, so what with a condom and so what if i did not suck his dick...i am on principle at this point,ok. Yes ok, I am a Fellatrix sexpert, and I LOVE to give headservice, you HAVE to at least attempt to lick the pussy before I go down on you....so tired of the one-sidedness. Fellas, you can't expect the head if they are not willing to give it to her,that is very fair. I do not care if he only eats my pussy once a week, I will suck the rim off his penis if he at least does it period.
Anyway, getting off my soapbox....my present partner/lover has no clue how I truly feel about him, because he is caught up in the fascination stage, when the reality stage has kicked in, he may be able to see who I am and my real thoughts of him. Trust me, its not what he thinks,and honestly I do not think he really wants to know. Scary thing, he and I are so much alike its sickening. The side he wants to embrace, behind close doors, is the one I am living aloud and often try to escape it. The lover in me wants to share so much, and the friend in me wants to lay the shit on him, read him his rights..left to right. My persona wants to show his ass how its really supposed to be done, and make him lick my stiletto's to show his appreciation.
Well, I am off to start a hellafied week, its been enlightening to divulge, kinda like a bowel movement at 6 am.
Kisses to you,
~Dream~
I have been up since 4am, woke up from this totally weird dream. Had to do with money and a man, I tell you those are always on mind. For some odd reason, I just cannot shake the thoughts of this one individual, as much as I want to, and probably need to. I cannot stop thinking about them.
I probably dreamed of money because I could always use some extra,lol, like the person on my mind. I could use a little bit more of them.
I fell asleep after watching an HBO porn documentary, I learned a lot by hearing the views of the industry from seasoned entertainers. I agreed with Heather Hunter when she said it was so much easier dealing with people in the industry, and she is right...its harder dealing with people in the "real world".
I am sure she has had the same struggles I deal with in my personal life. You can conjur up any kind of man...from his height to the size of his penis, but more than likely he is a fan or despise what you do and tries to change you.
People have no clue how difficult it is to try to have a somewhat normal sex life after doing any kind of porn, whether its at home amateur porn or mainstream, the results are pretty much the same.
Men think that I have so much sex, and that I am this sex kitten. LOL, I mean I do love sex and it can be slightly addictive;however, I am selective with whom I play with personally. To be honest, I usually do not have sex no more than twice per month. Sometimes, it can be less if I am holding out based on principle, I am so big on that its not funny.
What's crazy the men I have dealt with personally are more kinkier than myself...lol. A couple have totally got me twisted, suggested things from threesomes to introducing them into the industry also,making our debut into mainstream. IF, I was to have a 3 some with my man/boyfriend/partner/lover it would not be with a girlfriend of mine, it would be with a neutral party or hell, one of his buds. I would never share my man with a girlfriend of mine, sorry guy. Even though I have shared portions of my sex life, I do believe some things are sacred, and that is my primary meat or man.
Which is why I often try to protect him or I try to be as open as I can with what I "do"with my mate. Because its so many myths about women who entertain, I want my partner to be at ease with my chosen path. Often I work too hard at being trusted, when in reality its the other person who should be working on gaining my trust. My past and present is on display, so I am not the random person.
I know its enticing to see a confident women who is curvy and provocative do her thing. Men love it, and yes, we eat up the attention. BUT,its a blessing and a curse. I am a big girl, who can handle the men coming at me in every direction. I confess, I have indulged in a groupie or a few. I have always kept it real with whomever I am seeing, and yet still they cannot be real with me. Why is that??
Over the weekend I listened to my homegirls and their grief with men and horror stories,shit theirs are almost the same as mine, but they are not in the industry. So, tell me what is really going on??
What is with these men, expecting you to bend over backwards and put your pointer finger on your nose. That is too much. I understand the ratio is high, there are a lot of women out here to chose from and to play with. I get that, but most do not want the freaky chick as their primary woman. Nope, most want that woman who is not as sexually experienced or if she is, its from the things you and her have done. These men still wind up having that dip on the side. Because they are not pleased entirely, they need to be filled completely or just fucking greedy. That is why porn is not going anywhere, nor the strip clubs or the entire sex business as a whole. We are sexual beings, and in this society we cannot express ourselves freely without some kind of ridicule. (If a man had it his way,he would choose the woman he can take to worship and to the strip club.) Hate to say, but this is one of the reasons why people are unfaithful...just my opinion.
And its so cool be sexually expressive in my book, but practice safe sex...and keep it real with whom you are sharing your body with on a regular basis. From the beginning coming into the situation get tested, show your results,this is not pillow talk after the condom has broken or you got caught up in the pussy and took the condom off. Yes, its hard to believe that men still take off the rubber with HIV and antibiotic resistant STD's on a major rise.
We as adults must respect sex, from the women and men who chose to do this for a living to those who live an alternative lifestyle. Respect must be there, give it as much as you want it.
LMFAO,at the guy who I made a date night with and canceled because he asked me on the ride over was I going to suck his dick. I do not know why he asked prior to the act, but that was a big mistake. I said yes until he mentioned that he was not going to return the favor. I told him,lol,how are you going to ask me that and not expect to have that required of you. I explained that I am fully tested recently, and offered to show him the results...I was real,yet joking because when he said he was not eating my pussy, there was no way I was fucking him, so what with a condom and so what if i did not suck his dick...i am on principle at this point,ok. Yes ok, I am a Fellatrix sexpert, and I LOVE to give headservice, you HAVE to at least attempt to lick the pussy before I go down on you....so tired of the one-sidedness. Fellas, you can't expect the head if they are not willing to give it to her,that is very fair. I do not care if he only eats my pussy once a week, I will suck the rim off his penis if he at least does it period.
Anyway, getting off my soapbox....my present partner/lover has no clue how I truly feel about him, because he is caught up in the fascination stage, when the reality stage has kicked in, he may be able to see who I am and my real thoughts of him. Trust me, its not what he thinks,and honestly I do not think he really wants to know. Scary thing, he and I are so much alike its sickening. The side he wants to embrace, behind close doors, is the one I am living aloud and often try to escape it. The lover in me wants to share so much, and the friend in me wants to lay the shit on him, read him his rights..left to right. My persona wants to show his ass how its really supposed to be done, and make him lick my stiletto's to show his appreciation.
Well, I am off to start a hellafied week, its been enlightening to divulge, kinda like a bowel movement at 6 am.
Kisses to you,
~Dream~
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Dear Diary Sept6
Dear Diary:
I am sitting in front of my window, trying to relax, looking at the moon shining so brightly above. My house is totally silent. I can actually think aloud.
Tonight I am on all of my various social networks and sites,ehhh gads, the men are so stalkerish at times,lol. The attention is cool, but I do not let it go to my head. What I yearn for, is nothing a fan or groupie can provide for me.
My weekend was okay,I guess...I did not get any sex prior to my menstrual cycle. So, I had to tough it out, I almost bit my own leg off for that shit. I hated not getting sex prior to my period, its horrible. My sexual peak is really high right before it comes,and when the last drop stops...you can best believe I am just as horny or worse. Somebody son will be tapping this ass very soon because I am close to scheduling a gangbang video shoot or something,just kidding, but my sexual drive has been extremely high lately.
Saturday night, I spent it with my sweetie....due to my cycle, no sex took place. I wanted to at least suck his dick, but I kept my hands to myself. I feared that I would get too aroused and could not finish, so why get all hot&bothered,for nothing. I did enjoy seeing him stroke his dick, while I whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Now that was such a turn on.
I got shit faced drunk on Saturday night too, I was shocked as hell that I did not suck his dick or allow him to fuck me in the ass, hell I was so drunk...the next day my asshole was sore....I thought he had fucked my booty without my knowledge, but he said all we did was had some great conversation and played around with the "L"word. Uuugh,yes...."L-O-V-E"...why in the hell would that word come out? Way too soon for all that. I mean, I care about him, but LOVE him,HAHAA,NO way man, he got some things to iron out before I even allow my heart to go that route with him. I am just saying. Because you know how some people are great hunters, but suck at keeping their "prize" maintained...well, I kinda suspect that is him.
Like, I had to get drunk because he insisted on me sharing my"work"with him, scenes from my website and webpage, he is such the voyeur. The deal was that he was to look not as my lover, but as a porn reviewer. He did good until these couple scenes we came across, he started to compare what we do or have not done. SEE, I knew he could not handle it. NO man can handle what I do, I do not know why they sike themselves out. He was all over analyzing the flicks, saying "you never did that to me" or "you went HAM on his dick,babe you sucked him like he was a fucking King" and the next day the questions did not stop,"what did he DO to earn that"..."I want to know, what did he do to get that kinda treatment from you". Are you freaking serious man, I cannot believe he was drilling me so damned hard. He knows I HATE when he interrogates me, so not cool. I had to explain to him, that it was not a personal scene done with a boyfriend or lover, it was a scene I did with male talent, him being the analytic guy that he is, he should have been able to detect that from the video. But hey, he thinks he knows me totally, but he is far from wrong. The statement he made,"that was not fucking work,that was personal...the eyes do not lie". SHIT,he obviously does not know how good of an actress I am, see...that always fucks with the men I deal with, they underestimate my abilities as a performer, tisk tisk tisk.
All that going back and forth with that inquisition, I wanted him to just come over and fuck the shit out of me. Just do it dammit, since you think I put extra effort into a video scene, and the sex we've had does not mean shit to you. I licked this man pubic to almost his anus and he is ragging on me about a blow job video I did back in 08, get the fuck out. OK, I wear the nigga NUTT-stache and kept on sucking him, OKAY,big freaking deal,lol,I licked close to your asshole my sweet, so what. I reminded him how when we first met, he ate my pussy like Queen Sheba, and we did not fuck. I brought that up only to point out how passionate he is about oral sex also, so do not knock me,geesh.
GRRR,I am so ready to get a real good dick down from this man because he is good with kinda pushing my buttons. I have a smart mouth with him too, so I know that he so wants to punish me with his dick.
I felt that he wanted to fuck me anyway, regardless of my period being on, fuck the booty and pull me by my freshly relaxed hair. I am not going to allow him to anal sex me, that is a treat for the man that sticks around for at least a year, and his dick is borderline IFFY in size, like it could really hurt if he pumps my booty one good time.
I told him that,"the pussy and head is a wonderland within itself,when you master that...then we can talk about everything else". I meant every word, like how in the hell you talking about anal sexing me, and when I do a good Kegal or two, you are ready to cum,lol,HA....so you got jokes baby. I mean, he is not a two minute man, but when he masters sexing me while I look him in the eye,throw all of my 62+inches off ass on him,and I squeeze my pussy muscles on his dick, then we can go onto something else....you are the fucking master,lol,literally.
Shit, my sweetie has a lot of catching up to do...like we have only accomplished one of my sexual fantasies. It was when I jerked him off in the mirror, that was sooo HOT! I am still waiting on my next fantasy, being sexed city view facing Atlanta. I want to talk about what we plan on doing to each other, then do it when we actually see each other, oh he loves when we do that,and teehee....so do I....but I like to add to it. Dammit, I am making myself horny.
I wish that he would do something spontaneous this week like text me from the hallway of my apartment at 3:30am,"open the damned door, I am outside, here to give you this dick you been wanting". If I was awake or not, I would answer that freaking door, after I made sure my breath was tight and my hair was not a hot mess.
Okay, I cannot take it no more. I am going to bed, NO I will not masturbate. The next orgasm I have will be when he sticks his pretty brown meat package inside of me,breaking that post menstrual seal.
Goodnight,
~Dream~
I am sitting in front of my window, trying to relax, looking at the moon shining so brightly above. My house is totally silent. I can actually think aloud.
Tonight I am on all of my various social networks and sites,ehhh gads, the men are so stalkerish at times,lol. The attention is cool, but I do not let it go to my head. What I yearn for, is nothing a fan or groupie can provide for me.
My weekend was okay,I guess...I did not get any sex prior to my menstrual cycle. So, I had to tough it out, I almost bit my own leg off for that shit. I hated not getting sex prior to my period, its horrible. My sexual peak is really high right before it comes,and when the last drop stops...you can best believe I am just as horny or worse. Somebody son will be tapping this ass very soon because I am close to scheduling a gangbang video shoot or something,just kidding, but my sexual drive has been extremely high lately.
Saturday night, I spent it with my sweetie....due to my cycle, no sex took place. I wanted to at least suck his dick, but I kept my hands to myself. I feared that I would get too aroused and could not finish, so why get all hot&bothered,for nothing. I did enjoy seeing him stroke his dick, while I whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Now that was such a turn on.
I got shit faced drunk on Saturday night too, I was shocked as hell that I did not suck his dick or allow him to fuck me in the ass, hell I was so drunk...the next day my asshole was sore....I thought he had fucked my booty without my knowledge, but he said all we did was had some great conversation and played around with the "L"word. Uuugh,yes...."L-O-V-E"...why in the hell would that word come out? Way too soon for all that. I mean, I care about him, but LOVE him,HAHAA,NO way man, he got some things to iron out before I even allow my heart to go that route with him. I am just saying. Because you know how some people are great hunters, but suck at keeping their "prize" maintained...well, I kinda suspect that is him.
Like, I had to get drunk because he insisted on me sharing my"work"with him, scenes from my website and webpage, he is such the voyeur. The deal was that he was to look not as my lover, but as a porn reviewer. He did good until these couple scenes we came across, he started to compare what we do or have not done. SEE, I knew he could not handle it. NO man can handle what I do, I do not know why they sike themselves out. He was all over analyzing the flicks, saying "you never did that to me" or "you went HAM on his dick,babe you sucked him like he was a fucking King" and the next day the questions did not stop,"what did he DO to earn that"..."I want to know, what did he do to get that kinda treatment from you". Are you freaking serious man, I cannot believe he was drilling me so damned hard. He knows I HATE when he interrogates me, so not cool. I had to explain to him, that it was not a personal scene done with a boyfriend or lover, it was a scene I did with male talent, him being the analytic guy that he is, he should have been able to detect that from the video. But hey, he thinks he knows me totally, but he is far from wrong. The statement he made,"that was not fucking work,that was personal...the eyes do not lie". SHIT,he obviously does not know how good of an actress I am, see...that always fucks with the men I deal with, they underestimate my abilities as a performer, tisk tisk tisk.
All that going back and forth with that inquisition, I wanted him to just come over and fuck the shit out of me. Just do it dammit, since you think I put extra effort into a video scene, and the sex we've had does not mean shit to you. I licked this man pubic to almost his anus and he is ragging on me about a blow job video I did back in 08, get the fuck out. OK, I wear the nigga NUTT-stache and kept on sucking him, OKAY,big freaking deal,lol,I licked close to your asshole my sweet, so what. I reminded him how when we first met, he ate my pussy like Queen Sheba, and we did not fuck. I brought that up only to point out how passionate he is about oral sex also, so do not knock me,geesh.
GRRR,I am so ready to get a real good dick down from this man because he is good with kinda pushing my buttons. I have a smart mouth with him too, so I know that he so wants to punish me with his dick.
I felt that he wanted to fuck me anyway, regardless of my period being on, fuck the booty and pull me by my freshly relaxed hair. I am not going to allow him to anal sex me, that is a treat for the man that sticks around for at least a year, and his dick is borderline IFFY in size, like it could really hurt if he pumps my booty one good time.
I told him that,"the pussy and head is a wonderland within itself,when you master that...then we can talk about everything else". I meant every word, like how in the hell you talking about anal sexing me, and when I do a good Kegal or two, you are ready to cum,lol,HA....so you got jokes baby. I mean, he is not a two minute man, but when he masters sexing me while I look him in the eye,throw all of my 62+inches off ass on him,and I squeeze my pussy muscles on his dick, then we can go onto something else....you are the fucking master,lol,literally.
Shit, my sweetie has a lot of catching up to do...like we have only accomplished one of my sexual fantasies. It was when I jerked him off in the mirror, that was sooo HOT! I am still waiting on my next fantasy, being sexed city view facing Atlanta. I want to talk about what we plan on doing to each other, then do it when we actually see each other, oh he loves when we do that,and teehee....so do I....but I like to add to it. Dammit, I am making myself horny.
I wish that he would do something spontaneous this week like text me from the hallway of my apartment at 3:30am,"open the damned door, I am outside, here to give you this dick you been wanting". If I was awake or not, I would answer that freaking door, after I made sure my breath was tight and my hair was not a hot mess.
Okay, I cannot take it no more. I am going to bed, NO I will not masturbate. The next orgasm I have will be when he sticks his pretty brown meat package inside of me,breaking that post menstrual seal.
Goodnight,
~Dream~
Monday, August 29, 2011
Long Time Cummin,From a Mistress Prospective by~Dream~
Long Time Cummin(From A Mistress Prospective)
my Dear long lost friend
such a busy man
so considerate of him
calling to see how I've been
checking up on how I was doing
I said to him "I've been very busy"
He said that he missed me
declared that he would like to see me
I said "anytime for you
my Dear friend"
Actually,I was impressed
no flattered
it was I, that HE
wanted to spend his
free time with
We scheduled an 8pm
late dinner date
We arrived simultaneously
at the place
where we always meet
The staff know us by name
our table seating is always
the same
We greeted with a long hug & a french kiss
He pushed in my chair
which reminded me
how he was such a gentleman
A few minutes went by
we didn't speak
just stared into
each others eyes
I wanted to break the ice
However,I was not going to be the one
who would speak first
When we last conversed
things were hostile
Tonight I wanted to remain amicable
all I could do was sigh and smile
I didn't want to risk
my mouth getting a foot in it
I propped my chin with my closed hands
moved in
Anticipating his chosen words
He cleared his throat and asked "do you have a curfew"
I said "no-the kids are gone for the summer
so-yes, I can stay out as late as I want to"
He said-"You look exceptionally good and its really nice seeing you again
seems like its been so long. I was afraid
that you wouldn't pick up the telephone
because of your last message to me"
""I never want to see you again
and I think its better that we split
and no longer speak""
I said-"you know I was mad at you
and I always say things in the heat
things I lash out at you"
(I always had a rebuttal, that pertained words that I didn't mean)
He said "how are the kids
and how's life been treating you
is there a new love in your life
if so, has he been good to you"
I said "the kids are doing just fine
and I'm not stating if there's someone
new in my life"
I said,"how are your sons&the wifey?"
(He's always up in mine
forever being so nosey)
I said "is she finally treating you righteously
or is she still gettin on your nerves nightly?
He said "well, you know things haven't changed
she's still bitchin & carrying on the same way"
I said "oh I see, thats the reason for this
late night gathering
the marriage between you two
is still being lived out unhappily"
I said,"So sorry to hear that your marriage still is not taking
a pleasant path"
He said "its okay, I am with you, which is where I want to be at"
I said "Excuse me, I'll be right back"
He said "I'll miss you when you're gone
so please hurry back
I want you to sit on
whats rising here in my lap"
I walked away from the table
switching my ass
strutting & occasionally giving a look back
While in the restroom, I fixed my hair
touched up the makeup on my face
puckered my lips restoring the MAC "Nymphette" lip gloss
He loved to taste
I checked myself making sure nothing
was out of place
the pheromones still remained
my antiperspirant still doing its thing
I glanced in the mirror for one last time
said to myself, "You sexy mutha...lets go out here & finish wowing
this man and once again, spring this nicca...so he'll spend
his very last dime on you, his Princess"
I laughed aloud and whispered,"His Seductress"
I approached him slowly from behind
kissed his ear & frontal lobe
grabbed between his thighs
I thought inside...my next move-he'd certainly be ready to go, if he didn't
we'd surely give this establishment a show
I placed my G-string panties
in his front suit pocket
He yelled to the waiter--"TICKET!"
I corrected him-"HE meant, may I get the check please"
He reached for the pocket that held my precum saturated panties
and began wiping the sweat
from his brow & forehead
He yield to give them a long deep inhale
I erotically watched, now utterly amused
As he quickly shoved my panties
into his Calvin Klein boxers
massaged himself with them
He licked at his lips
looked at me
I brushed my hair to one side
seductively ran my fingers down my neck
to my buxom breast & fondled one of my erect nipples
thru my dress
He leaned into me
with his lips
he gave my arm & chest two small pecks
He whispered into my ear
using his naturally sexy baritone
"I want you sooo bad
it wasn't one night
that I did not think of you
when my wife and I made love
all I could do was think about you
I tried to get her into the things
that you and I do
she just wouldn't budge
Babygirl,you really DO NOT know
how bad I missed you
dammit woman, you just drive me wild
with all that you do"
He said,"I am sorry for not taking you seriously, I was stupid brushing
off your needs"
I smiled & bashfully blinked my eyes
to confirm that I had agreed
with all that he said
I grabbed a linen napkin
from the table
to catch the remaining sweat
held & kissed his left hand
while he wrote his signature
on the credit card slip
with the other hand
I thought to myself
This man is oblivious
what I, his Mistress
had in store for him
It was so obvious
that he was lacking
It was all of me, that he had been missing
I am the one who would have
to take care of him
continue to fill in the gaps
fulfilling all his freaky fetishes
always being more desirable
And one could only imagine
what would transpire
the rest of the night
with this man
whom I've nicknamed
The Sexually Deprived Husband 2b continued....~Dream~
Sweet Treats, Sweet Passion by~Mrs ATD~
Sweet Treats
Some desserts are so decadent
Others are heaven sent
Desserts will vary from
Chocolate pleasures to caramel lust
Both will make you bust
Not all desserts are meant to be indulged daily
Some desserts you must have as a part of your day
I had to have my chocolate fix
My Milky Way
I am such a spoiled kid
Filled with greed
The need to feed
On sinful treats,that often comes to me
I was craving caramel,but chocolate was more within my reach
Chocolate filled that desire to binge
Greased the wheels churning inside of me
Chocolate drippings had me so wet,yummy, and sweet
My chocolate pleasures,dark,slim, and nutty
Its flavor packs a powerful punch
So rich, I cannot handle it all at once
I must eat slowly to enjoy every morsel
A moan I release after each bite
Chocolate pleasures, damn you hit all the right spots
As I reach my euphoric peak, I stop to think
What I would have done to have caramel lust running through my veins
The reuptake is quicker
Although its a thicker substance
The sugar high last a lot longer
My wheels turn faster and every crack is lubricated
My caramel lust keeps both lips moisten
My favorite flavor choices
I would have chosen it
But chocolate pleasure came and kidnap me
Like a neanderthal, it hit me over the head with its
Big cocoa stick
Leaving me blank and in a stupor
Consciousness has returned
The chocolate buzz is over
My head is sore, neurons tingling
My cocoa desire is gone
Sensation is not lingering
A craving for stimulation still exist
My pleasure center is less than half empty
Damn, the chocolate frolic did nothing for me
Fuck, caramel lust should have jumped out of my candy dish
And strangled me
Caramel lust is all I need
But for whatever reason, caramel lust magnetic energy
Payed me no attention
Perhaps its lust wants to savor me
Or does it want to starve me
Dammit, caramel lust you know I crave you
Fuck it, I am going to take and devour you
I will regurgitate you, so I will always have you
Caramel lust, such a sweet passion.....my flavor of the month
~Dream~
Some desserts are so decadent
Others are heaven sent
Desserts will vary from
Chocolate pleasures to caramel lust
Both will make you bust
Not all desserts are meant to be indulged daily
Some desserts you must have as a part of your day
I had to have my chocolate fix
My Milky Way
I am such a spoiled kid
Filled with greed
The need to feed
On sinful treats,that often comes to me
I was craving caramel,but chocolate was more within my reach
Chocolate filled that desire to binge
Greased the wheels churning inside of me
Chocolate drippings had me so wet,yummy, and sweet
My chocolate pleasures,dark,slim, and nutty
Its flavor packs a powerful punch
So rich, I cannot handle it all at once
I must eat slowly to enjoy every morsel
A moan I release after each bite
Chocolate pleasures, damn you hit all the right spots
As I reach my euphoric peak, I stop to think
What I would have done to have caramel lust running through my veins
The reuptake is quicker
Although its a thicker substance
The sugar high last a lot longer
My wheels turn faster and every crack is lubricated
My caramel lust keeps both lips moisten
My favorite flavor choices
I would have chosen it
But chocolate pleasure came and kidnap me
Like a neanderthal, it hit me over the head with its
Big cocoa stick
Leaving me blank and in a stupor
Consciousness has returned
The chocolate buzz is over
My head is sore, neurons tingling
My cocoa desire is gone
Sensation is not lingering
A craving for stimulation still exist
My pleasure center is less than half empty
Damn, the chocolate frolic did nothing for me
Fuck, caramel lust should have jumped out of my candy dish
And strangled me
Caramel lust is all I need
But for whatever reason, caramel lust magnetic energy
Payed me no attention
Perhaps its lust wants to savor me
Or does it want to starve me
Dammit, caramel lust you know I crave you
Fuck it, I am going to take and devour you
I will regurgitate you, so I will always have you
Caramel lust, such a sweet passion.....my flavor of the month
~Dream~
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